Everything Would Change

This Is Me

The lights cut out and all that could be seen was the pink and blue lights illuminating the white drum kit on stage. The music had stopped and my heart was pounding in my chest as the crowd waited for her entrance. The stage filled with smoke and the entire crowd started chanting 'DEMI! DEMI! DEMI!'

Mac

I looked around, my heart racing, overwhelmed with where I was and who I was about to watch. I was trying so hard not to cry watching Demi perform unbroken, the power in her voice was incredible and I still couldn't believe I was here! By the end of unbroken I was crying,not just at seeing my idol and savior, but at the raw emotion coming from even her upbeat dancy songs.

As Demi paused preparing to make her famous skyscraper speech, I couldn't help but look around with admiration. There were so many lovatics and fans filling the stadium all cheering and laughing, I couldn't help the smile that fell across my face.

As I looked around I saw a boy standing not 10 feet away from me,staring. I felt my stomach start churning, sending bile to the back of my throat. My smile faltered and I headed backwards towards the side of the stage where I was sure security would be hovering,hoping for some little comfort in seeing them. As I turned back to the stage there was no security, snapping my head around I had alsolost sight of the boy who had been watching me. I felt my muscles relax "god get a grip, he isn't here, he couldn't know you're here" I reasoned with myself. I looked towards the stage again and saw a chair had been set up in the center and the piano brought forward just behind it. "Skyscraper" I breathed, the one thing I had been waiting for all night, the stay strong speech Demi would give, strength I had needed these past two weeks when I dared to stay clean just for this concert.

FLASHBACK(TRIGGER WARNING)

I lazily flipped the packet over and through my fingers, the bathroom floor was cold and I knew I should get up and forget about it but something kept me watching the packet flip over and under...over and under and back again through my fingers. I know I shouldn't have brought them at all and I know I shouldn't open them but I couldn't stop the voices in my head telling me to do it, to make it feel better.

I slowly opened the packet, breathing a sigh of relief, the cold tiny piece of metal my only release in my nightmare of a life. Seeing the blade open in the packet stopped all chances of me walking away and I began making cut after cut after cut. Soon my thighs were covered in deep cuts, only feeling satisfied if they were wide and deep. So deep they didn't bleed straight away, so deep that they flashed a bright white before they slowly began to fill with blood. Now for my least favorite part, cleaning up. Grabbing a bunch of tissues I smudged the blood across my thighs, once I had managed to clean most of the blood away I flushed the dirty tissues down the toilet and turned on the shower. I grabbed my favorite, long purple with white stars,flannel bottoms and a plain long sleeved grey top from my cupboard tossed them on the floor and hopped in the shower. I watched the blood run down the drain how it turned red and then disappeared clear again, sighing I washed my hair and turned the shower off grabbing my black towel from the rack. I dried off and put my towel up in my hair making my way, clothes and blade in hand, to my double bed where I quickly shoved on my clothes. I grabbed my mac from the bedside table and softly ran my fingers over the stay strong sticker on its cover,I quickly opened it up and dashed to get on twitter and tumblr. I saw a notification on twitter and immediately recognized my best friend,"bitch! Why didn't you tell me Demi was coming to Dallas!?"laughing I wrote back "yeah yeah whatever bitch" I jumped into DMs "you crush my soul with shit like that you bitch" dreaming of getting to see Demi live. Curiosity getting the better of me I quickly opened a new tab and looked up Demi's new tour dates and locations. DEMI....DALLAS....CONCERT...NO FREAKING WAY THAT BITCH WASN'T LYING!!! This is the first time I'll be able to go to this concert!! Okay okay I HAVE to get tickets! Jumping off my bed I run and get my wallet from my bag on my desk quickly checking my credit card is in there, yes! Thank you dad for getting me a credit card, Mr I'm always away so you'll need it, don't bug me. Okay concert and soundcheck, done! OH! Message Ronnie!