Everything Would Change

45

Mac's POV

Demi and I were sitting crossed legged on my bed, it was dark outside and neither of us had spoken a word since we'd come in.

"What are we doing?" I whispered, it was late and cold and we were just sitting in the dark staring at each other.

"I'm waiting for you to tell me what the fucking problem is, why would you do this? How could you be so selfish?" She spat out.

I was starting to get used to this, one moment she was nice and caring and crying about how much she loved me. Then just as suddenly she's barely looking at me, not cuddling and telling me I'm selfish and horrible.

It's just a pattern.

"I'm not selfish, you are" I spat back. This isn't real anyway so I may as well take advantage.

It was like a slap to the face and Demi was suddenly crying.

"I'm trying, I'm trying to be perfect for you but I can't!" She yelled.

"I don't want you to be perfect! I want you to be there for me! You act as if I'm not even here, as if I'm just imaginary! Meanwhile I do fucking everything to make sure you're happy!" I screamed, finally really losing my temper.

"Don't you fucking get it yet Demi!? Ive been looking after you and i can't! You're meant to be recovered and fixed and I'm not. I'm still barely managing to stay clean! You're meant to be helping me!" I screamed.

"I'm not fixed, you can't be fixed. I'm always in recovery, I'm always still recovering. It's an ongoing process and maybe I can't handle you either!" She screamed, jumping off my bed as hot tears flooded her face.

"Then let me die, why are we still doing this? Why are we arguing when you could let me die" I whispered.

"I can't let you go, I'm selfish and I need you. You have to come back to me, you have to baby girl" she whispered back.

"I'm not good for you Demi, you were stronger without me. I'm a trigger for you now" I shook my head and turned away from her. I heard Demi sigh and walk from my bedroom, shutting the door with a soft click.

She'd be back any minute, to check I'm still here. To make sure I haven't disappeared, which is funny because this is my dream and she's the one who could disappear without a trace.

Demi's POV

I bolted upright, from where I had been sleeping next to Mac.

The dreams were getting more and more intense, always us fighting.

I had woken after shutting Mac in her room, she'd told me she was a trigger for me.

"Demi, baby girl, come get some food. Marissa will stay with her baby, you need to eat" my mom whispered as she placed a hand on my shoulder.

I shook my head "No, I'm not leaving her again. She won't forgive me, I can't leave her because she might not come back if I do"

My mom sighed but walked out with the promise of bringing me something to eat.

"She's right Dem, you gotta eat. This isn't healthy and you need to be strong for her" Mar spoke from behind me.

I spun around, suddenly angry " Oh really?! And why weren't you strong for her when she did this to herself!? Where were you! I trusted you to keep her safe!" I screamed.

Marissa's eyes were wide, tears spilling over them and I snarled "Take your stupid tears somewhere else, you won't get sympathy from me" before I turned away and rested my head back down next to Mac's.