A Compilation of Frerard Oneshots

Cheese Spread

"What the fuck are you eating?" Frank wrinkled his nose.

Gerard looked down at the piece of toast in his hand. "Toast. I was hungry."

"But what is that on top?"

Frank slowly sat next to him on the sofa, his eyes cautious and his act careful. He looked like he was sitting next to some strange animal or something.

"Cheese spread. Like, soft cheese."

Frank's expression was one of disgust. "Fucking what?"

Gerard smirked at him and took another bite before replying, "I suddenly felt like eating every cheesy food on the planet and this was all that was in." He needed to go shopping soon.

Frank still looked completely repulsed. "But... Cheese spread?"

What was wrong with cheese spread? It was tasty. What was his problem?

"So what? I was hungry. Leave me and my cheese spread alone." Gerard attempted to turn away but Frank just moved closer to him on the sofa. He wasn't letting this go.

"Who the fuck buys cheese spread? Cheese spread?! You could have had normal cheese but no. You had to have cheese spread."

Gerard frowned at him. "My mom does. Have you never heard of it or something?" He remembered the toast in his hand and continued eating it. It wasn't exactly something he would have eaten under normal circumstances but it was actually pretty good.

"I have but it actually disgusts me." Frank crossed his arms.

"Well you can't eat it anyway so problem solved."

"But you're eating it. That's weird and gross." Frank told him.

This was actually ridiculous. Gerard couldn't help but laugh. "What the fuck. How?"

Frank shrugged, the bemused expression still on his face. "It's so weird, man. How do you eat it?"

Gerard waved the last bite he had left. "On toast?" He then finished it off. "We didn't have any other cheese. Cut me some slack, jeez."

Frank was shaking his head. "It's just... Weird. Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why would you eat it?"

"I was fucking hungry." Gerard sighed, "Stop judging me and my soft cheese ways."

Frank snorted. "But it's gross and I'm right."

Gerard frowned heavily at that. "How the fuck... No, you're not, you commoner. Get used to this. Soft cheese is the future."

"Ew. Fuck that." Frank scrunched his nose up again, "And I'm not a fucking commoner."

Gerard stood up to get a drink. "Sure you aren't. I might just start eating soft cheese every day in front of you to piss you off." He went into the kitchen.

Of course, Frank followed him. "You wouldn't dare."

Oh, he knew not to test Gerard and his strange ways of getting points across. "Do you really want to risk it?"

Frank didn't reply straight away so Gerard looked at him and raised an eyebrow.

"Well..." Frank started, "You did once have a jacket potato every day for about a month... You're pretty consistent with your food addictions."

"That I am." Gerard grinned before filling up his glass with soda. An idea suddenly hit him.

"You know what?" He took out a piece of bread and opened the fridge.

"What?" Frank's voice was tentative. He knew something bad was going to happen. Especially when it included Gerard and ideas.

A small box was in Gerard's hand and he shut the fridge, getting out a knife. "There's no harm..." He said more to himself than to his best friend.

"What are you..." Frank moved so he could see and then he suddenly took a sharp intake of breath. "Fuck, you wouldn't."

Gerard looked up and smiled. "Just try a little. You'll see it's not that bad."

Frank was backing away slowly. "Dude, no. I am not getting ill for this."

Gerard finished spreading the cheese spread on the piece of bread and ripped it in half. "A small bit won't hurt you." He started moving closer to Frank with it.

"Stay away from me with that." Frank held his hands up, realising he was being backed into a corner. There was no where to go.

The grin on Gerard's face was almost maniacal as he held up the piece of bread. "Come on. You'll love it."

"Fuck off, Gerard!" Frank couldn't help but snort at him, laughter escaping his lips. He was trapped in the corner.

Gerard stopped just in front of him and it was silent for a moment or two until Gerard practically pounced on him, shoving the bread into his face.

Frank made some sort of high-pitched squeal and attempted to make a dash for it but Gerard started ticking him and that made him stop. Instead, he started laughing loudly and tried to push Gerard away.

The cheese spread induced half a piece of bread was dropped onto the floor but not before Gerard had managed to smear most of it across Frank's face. He looked great.

"St- Ah! Stop!" Frank gasped out, practically falling down against the wall and into the floor. There was no way he was getting out of this one.

Gerard was laughing at Frank's laugh and continued to tickle him until Frank eventually crumpled down onto the floor in defeat.

Gerard finally let go and just crouched in front of him, the grin still intact. "So? Am I right? Is soft cheese fucking nice?"

Frank pouted and crossed his arms. Although there was still a smile on his face. "You're a motherfucker."

He was probably right. Gerard shrugged slightly and made to get up. "Agree or I'll get some more."

"Fine!" Frank said quickly, "I hope you and your fucking cheese spread are happy together."

Gerard grinned. "That's all I've ever wanted to hear."

---

Okay, you're probably wondering what the fuck that was. I am as well, to be honest.

Basically, my friend and I got into an argument because I had cheese spread on toast and she said it was disgusting. But it's not??

I wanna know what you guys think. Do you like cheese spread/soft cheese/cream cheese or do you think it's gross?

Just to clarify: it's fucking nice. Especially on toast. I know I'm right.

-Beth