Will you still love me even if I'm a man?

Chapter 74: Because of You, I Cry

Autor: Angelina
Translator : Angela

Grandmother lived in a very remote area. Before the road was built, they needed to take an hour-long boat ride to get there. In that area was a water dam and only about a dozen households lived there. Even the electricity was on and off; sometimes the TV couldn't turn on, let alone get cellphone signal.
Mai Ding could only receive cell signal when he stood upstairs on his tiptoes. Mai Ding moved a stool to sit outside. His mother also followed him and sat down next to him. A young couple holding their child just happened to walk past. The two of them watched the family until they disappeared into the distance.

"This is what a person should have: a loving wife and a cute child. The love and joy of a family is no more than this. Have you never thought of what being a father feels like? For your so-called love, can you really abandon forming your own family?"
Mai Ding's mother seized every opportunity to persuade Mai Ding. Mai Ding stepped on the pebbles on the ground, pushing them back and forth with his feet:

"If you're together with a person who you don't love, even if you get married and have children, life would only be torment. Who said that a complete family is composed of one man, one woman, and one child? If this really is the love and joy of a family, then I'd rather not have it. I'm not greedy, I only need a little bit of happiness to get through life."

"Why do you never listen? There's a wonderful life right in front of you yet you don't choose it. Instead, you choose this kind of lifestyle where you will never be able to raise your head high."

Mai Ding laughed bitterly, while his mother was confused: "The life I'm choosing right now is actually the wonderful one."

"Is it so difficult to get you to understand?"

"Mom, is it so difficult for you to accept it?" Mai Ding's mother could only shake her head. Ever since Mai Ding was small, he was an obedient child who would obey her every word, so she didn't think that he would be so stubborn when it came to this subject matter.
Yet it was this stubbornness that was precisely what she couldn't understand. She only hoped that Mai Ding could forget about all of these absurd things and start over again.

Mai Ding's mother knew that this road, even if she agreed to it, would be hard to walk down, would have immense pressure, and that everyone around them would stare down at them. She didn't want Mai Ding to get hurt.

If everyone knew about them, and if he broke up with An Ziyan afterwards, then wouldn't his future be destroyed? Would there be any woman who would accept a man who loves men? "You gave up on so many things for An Ziyan, is it worth it?"

"An Ziyan... he's a person with a strong sense of superiority. I can't even remember how many people like him. His grades are good, his family is rich, he's good-looking, he plays piano, he's good at singing, he's just that kind of person. And yet it's that kind of person who fell in love with someone like me. I didn't give up on anything, but rather obtained so much instead."

Mai Ding's mother wanted to say something, but Mai Ding stopped her. He continued to stare at the pebbles on the ground as he said: "I'm a very ordinary, very easily lost in the crowd kind of person. Before I met An Ziyan, my life flew by superficially. I obediently listened to your every word, I let you make all the decisions for me. Instead of living for myself, it was more like I was living for you. Yet somehow An Ziyan saw the ordinary me amidst the sea of people. Do you know how happy I was at that moment? So many colors were added into my life. When he provokes me, I'd become frantic; when he's angry, I'd be scared; when he leaves, I'd be sad; when he flirts with me, I'd be mesmerized; when he kisses me, I'd go crazy; when he fell in love with me, I died. All of these emotions are things that I had never experienced before, it feels like I'm actually alive. I only like An Ziyan, but it just so happens that he's a man." His mother didn't realize that Mai Ding's feelings for An Ziyan were so deep. She patted Mai Ding: