Okay, so it all started yesterday when my headphones's audio busted in one ear. I tried to fix it, but I could see that one of the two cords that makes the audio work had cut. I was reasonably mad, but I could survive on one ear as long as they still worked.
Time skip to today, around 8:40 pm. I'm using my headphones when the audio all of a sudden cuts out. I check if it's just an error (my tablet sometimes has errors where audio cuts and it needs to be restarted), but after opening and closing the app and such, nothing appears to have worked. I get this sinking feeling that it's my headphones.
I bend the cord and check the wires, and it becomes apparent that they're gone. I rip the connector off (a tradition of mine when it comes to frayed wires) and throw the set away. I sit down a second, when an idea comes to mind. There are multiple headsets in my room. Each had usage discontinued after they busted, but here's the thing: sometimes, if I got a new pair, I'd stop them with one ear's audio intact. That's what I was going on.
I see two pairs of headphones, and grab them. I take them back up the stairs to my bed, which is a loft bed. This will be important later. The first pair were something called "SleepPhones", designed to be worn in bed. They looked like this:
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Sort of dumb, I agree. The actual speakers were inside the plush band so they were comfortable to sleep with. Anyway, I try them first. Nothing. I open the back, which was Velcro. If the wire was bent inside, I could fix it there. Everything was fine. Great.
I move on to the next pair. These were absolute opposite to the SleepPhones. They were big, bulky, and the most uncomfortable set I've ever worn. One ear didn't even have foam in it, so that was the first order of business. I keep a box of tissues in my bed, for convenience's sake. I took one and ripped it up, shoving it into the space where foam should be. It was a rush job, but it would do. I tested them. Nothing.
I am about to give up hope when I check the battery pack. Yes, battery pack. This particular pair had a pack on the cord that changed some setting. I believe it had to do with volume or just general sound. Now, this pair was practically a dinosaur in it's own right, so I was willing to bet money that it needed new batteries. I opened it, and all it took was one triple A battery. Easy! I knew exactly where those were kept: the kitchen.
Here's where I become an urban ninja.
I'm supposed to be asleep at this time, so it was risky to leave my room. However, I've done this a million times before to get snacks, so I was pretty much fearless. When I leave my room, I get a surprise. My mom is up milling around for some reason. The house has a large window-type opening so anyone can see from the living room to the kitchen and front door. I am terrified. I duck, and taking everything I know about ninjutsu into account, make zero sounds and try to observe. I still have no idea what my mother is doing, so I scurry back to my room.
So it goes, for a solid half-hour, ducking in and out of my room. At some point, I figure out that she's doing laundry. She goes to the laundry room in the basement, and I set off again. The battery I was after was kept in mom's junk drawer. I'm not supposed to poke there, especially after dark. Remaining light on my feet, I check it out. Then I discover, because of how stuffed the drawer is, the horrendous sound it makes when open. I shut it when I hear a noise downstairs.
Once my mother settles back down, I slink out once more. Mind you, my mom could see what I was up to if she just turned her head, but she didn't. At this point, my dog Luna was lying right where I needed to stand. I couldn't get her to move because of the cow hoof treat she was eating; she growled at those who tried to take it. Standing over my dog, I took the battery. Finally.
Triumphant, I put the battery in the headset and tried once more. Nothing. I had done that all for nothing. Accepting defeat, I took the battery back out and unplugged the set. The last thing I had was my DVD player, this little RCA thing. It could only run when it had the charging cable in, because it would run out very easily otherwise. I have a loft bed. The only outlet was near the ground, and although the cord was long enough, it would be a hassle to get set up.
After setting up, I turned it on and started writing this so all of you can fully appreciate the hour of idiocy that stemmed from broken headphones. This is why I am now watching Night at the Museum and writing it all down. Thank you for your time.
