It started when I got a shipment of sweaters in the mail. There were three: one colour block, one with space print, and a squid one. It was my favourite. Here, this is what it looks like:
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Cool, eh? Anyway, I wore it to school today and everyone seemed to love it. zombiepeasant and I started joking around by referring to it and me as "Squiddly Diddly Dee" or "Squiddly Diddly Doo". Basically, I got called Squiddly all day.
After first period, we went to fine arts. We aren't in the same one (I'm drama, she's band,) so we planned to meet up at break. I go to fine arts with Gemstone_BP and our teacher, the fantastic Mrs. M sets out three scripts for us. We were a relatively small group, so we just did some with a few roles. One for everyone, excepting the two boys who didn't like to participate. We ended up doing one from a series called "Crossing The Line" or something like that. They were all about issues supposedly important to the youth (alcohol/substance abuse, bullying, sexual harassment, etc.). Just a warning, but things get wild from here.
We were looking through roles and I was asked to play a dude called Jeff. I didn't mind (seeing as how I usually played dudes anyway), so I rolled with it. Right from the first line, I knew Jeff was an asshat. Like, a MEGA asshat. His line? "Jeff Milton has decided to grace you with his presence." Yup. The scene took place in a math class, so between lines Gemstone was just explaining the quadratic formula. Hoo boi. My immediate next line was bragging about how I didn't remember any of last night because I got so drunk (NOT TO MENTION THE FRICKING COCAINE).
The act I was playing off was a girl called Lisa. She seemed to pretty much hate me. I don't blame her, I'd hate an annoying drunken douchebag too. She was sort of vague, but started an argument. I was stupid, shouldn't have been driving, was terrible to my parents, the works. I sort of have the idiot act down pat though, so I rolled with it. That's really all you can do in this position. Roll with it. I tried to get test answers off a kid called Sydney, but she never answered me.
Lisa told me to leave Syd alone, and that she couldn't hear me. When I was confused, we were delivered the twist of the century. It was something like: "Jeff, when you were driving us, you crashed. Our funeral is on Wednesday." AND THE PLAY JUST FVCKING ENDS THERE. NO WRAP UP. NOTHING. WE'RE FVCKING GHOSTS. Literally all I did at that moment was shoot up out of my seat and scream "WHAT A TWIST! WE GOT M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN'D EVERYBODY!" Everybody got hit headlong in the face by that, like wow. I killed us all. Nice job, Jeff.
After that, either Gemstone or I said "Frickin' Jeff." "Goddamnit Jeff," replied the other. After that, we just traded those back in forth. The semi-exasperated "Dammit Jeff," was really the only way we could reply to that twist. The understatement's irony is somewhat funny to us. "Frickin' Jeff, just killing us. Classic Jeff."
