Haha, I'm An Idiot.

Who Ya Gonna Call?

I may have just experienced some paranormal activity. On the toilet.

I'm going on one of my late night bathroom/snack trips as usual. You know, the ones you have when you're a night owl. You pee and grab something to eat on the return trip. I walk into the bathroom, sit down, and start to read this discarded People magazine I saved for toilet trips. I'm flipping through the pages, (ZOMG! A CELEBRITY ACTED LIKE A PERSON? HOW CAN BE???) and I notice something just behind the pages. As I nervously look up, I freeze.

Something's trying to use the toilet paper.

I stare at it in horror. I'm not doing anything. I'm not even moving. But here we have the toilet paper, wiggling and moving down purposefully. I haven't seen anything like it. I've shaken toilet paper while walking past before. It flutters. This wasn't a flutter. It wasn't like I could see an imprint of a hand on it or something, but I know I wasn't doing this. Then it stopped, a full sheet longer than it was. I tried to repeat what I saw. I did everything possible that could indirectly move it, but to no avail. Then I pull it down. It was like I saw before, only with a visible hand this time.

Look, I always thought this house was a lil' janky. Some things just don't click. For example, the basement. I'm not really a person that thinks basements are inherently creepy, but this one has something going on. There are lots of rooms down there. More than there probably should be for a basement. For example, one clean white room. Nothing in there but a shelf. It's relatively small. Smells weird. That room creeps me out. Then there's another room. It has a big workshop style table and shelves in the corners. All the walls are painted red. I've seen workshops in basements. It's common. What I don't understand is the shelves. Why are they so far away from the table? Wouldn't the purpose be to keep everything in one accessible area? There's also one more thing in that room: a door that leads to the back of the house. Nobody is able to explain it. It leads right outside into this patch of crabgrass. You can barely even see the door.

We were told that this basement was an unfinished and unsuccessful apartment. I'd believe that. It's plausible. What I don't understand is the furniture. Those shelves and worktable must've cost good money. I'd place a few hundred on those things. Why weren't they taken on the move out? They aren't too big to put in a moving truck, or maybe a few trips in a pickup. I wouldn't just leave them there.

Now, It's late. Around 12:00 am for me. I'm probably jumping to conclusions. I can't find any history on this house just yet. Everything is up in the air. All I know is that I saw some jimmy-rustling things that I don't want to see again tonight. What I need is probably in a deep-web archive that I'll need to go deeper for later. I'm not saying that there is any reason to be suspicious. I just think that perhaps there should be. I'm gonna leave this for now, but if something else weird happens or I uncover something creepy, you'll be the first to know. One more thing. Dear Toilet Ghost, there are like five other rolls in the box beside the toilet. You may have one of those, but not the current one. Just please take one and don't creep us out. Okay? Okay.

...maybe it's Jeff. Goddamnit Jeff!