Wake Up, Get Paid, Get Laid, Gatorade

I know it's late but this is extremely important

   I'm scared and I can't fucking breathe and my head hurts and I wanna hurt myself and I wanna just scream and I wanna run until my legs turn to jelly and I've put ten miles between me and my dad.

   The person who raised me, who told me every day that he loved me, threatened to hurt me and left a black and purple patch on my left side.

   My dad hit me.

   This can't be happening, because these dumb stories are just something people use to scare kids. I wasn't abused. This has to be normal.

   But it isn't.

   I'm currently hiding in the bathroom and my parents think i don't have my phone. They have eliminated all means of outside communication, or so they thought.

   I still have Wattpad.

   It wasn't that bad. It was an accident. He turned around and his belt hit me there because he happened to be holding it. That's not why I'm so scared.

   I'm so scared because he stuck his face in mine and yelled "Do I need to hit you to make you understand?"

   It isn't physical abuse, that much I know.

   Legally, at my age and in my state, you're allowed to hit your kids. What he did was in no way illegal or discouraged. Some people would even praise him for it.

   I don't have music or books or anything and I'm having the worst panic attack I've ever had.

   I passed out because I was barely breathing, then woke up gasping for air and used my inhaler. It isn't helping.

   I just need someone to show me a relaxing song or something to calm me down. Anything. I just need something.

   A happy fanfic, a nice song, anything to keep me distracted and from hurting myself.

   Thank you all so much for sticking around through all of the tough shit, because it means the world to me.