Wake Up, Get Paid, Get Laid, Gatorade

I'm a sappy emo lovesick idiot

   Have you ever cared about someone so much your heats just melts all the time for no reason, like every little thing reminds you of them? And then there are the strong memories that just make you want to cry, and they actually physically hurt because of how good they are?

   Wow I'm just...

   I'm not romantic. Ask any of my friends, I was a sarcastic asshole with FOMO, social anxiety, and a passion for nothing but bands. I still am like that, but now I'm writing poetry and thinking about someone instead of the dark thoughts and everything feels too blurry and happy and sad all at once.

   I'm young, and I'm not saying I'm gonna marry her or something fake like "oh, she's the one!", I'm just saying that I'm totally, completely, 100%, permanently infatuated with this girl.

   And this girl, damn this girl is too fucking good for me, for anyone.

   She's got these wide hazel eyes that are so green and bright and when she gets excited they just glitter. I actually feel like I'm dying when she does that shy little blush-y half-smile thing she always does when I compliment her. She always wants to wear my hoodies and I think my Mount Washington blue  hoodie is gone forever but I don't care. She's only about 5'4 and so tiny I can't stand how adorable it is, and she's at the exact perfect height to nuzzle into my shoulder and whenever she's nervous she will. She has this thing about her that when she likes something she's so dedicated and determined, and when she talks about that stuff she's so confident and cheerful. She always smells like lavender and vanilla frosting and call me creepy for that always calming me down. She's just so perfect to hold, like she was created to just wrap your arms around and smile.

   It's cliché and emo and fucking stupid, but I think I'm too far gone to ever get out of this.

   God I'm sorry about that, I needed to write it down somewhere, ignore my dumb feelings.