Wake Up, Get Paid, Get Laid, Gatorade

What The Fuck Is Wrong With The World

   I'm crying and my head hurts like hell, for the tenth time already this week.

   God I'm fucked.

   So while I was eating dinner my mom said "You know, there's a rumor that the principal's son is gay."

   Now first of all, she was talking about my brothers principal, not mine. Second of all, my brother goes to a Catholic school, where basically any association with homosexuality gets you kicked out or fired. I'm going to a Catholic school in 2018, but that's a story for another day.

   So now she goes "She should be kicked out, do you know what kind of influence that could have on the children?"

   So I start panicking and I literally feel like I'm gonna be sick, so my dad pats my back gently and says "It isn't like she's gay, and it wouldn't be the end of the world if she was."

   So my mom rolls her eyes and says "Yeah it isn't that bad, but you know what is? That stupid trend cross-gender stuff, seriously, it's absolutely disgusting, sick."

   One of my best friends is transgender, with a very accepting family I might add, and I was about to flip the table right on her. That's when she says "Isn't it stupid how we have to talk about what bathrooms those... people... go into? You should use the bathroom that matches your plumbing."

   I'm fucking done.

   I'm fucking done and my head hurts cause I hit it on the top of a doorframe on my way the fuck away from that dinner table and I may have a dad but I still don't have a mom.

   Yeah, my dad is still scared to stand up for me or what he thinks is okay. Yeah, my mom is a transphobic, homophobic douche with no life. Yeah, I'm hopelessly lost when it comes to blood relatives. But I still have a family.

   You, you are my family.

   So yeah, maybe not you specifically if I haven't met you yet, but all the people who comment and talk to me and make me smile with the silliest and most cheerful messages, you are my family.

   It's cheesy and stupid and cringey, like this entire godamn book, but I love you guys and you are my family.

   In the huge world with so many people without real family or friends, I have both of those things right here, and with my real life friends and my girlfriend and maybe even my dad if he's brave enough.

   I don't blame him, not one bit. The world is scary sometimes.

   You, my family, you can close your eyes. Sometimes it makes things less scary.