Wake Up, Get Paid, Get Laid, Gatorade

FUCK EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING

   I'M A SHIT GIRLFRIEND.

   I'M A SHIT GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE MY MOM ASKED IF I WANTED TO TAKE MY "friend" TO MY GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE FOR DINNER AND I SAID YES WHEN SHE WOULD CLEARLY HAVE BEEN MISERABLE.

   SO YEAH, I FUCKING FUCKED UP.

   THE ENTIRE TIME THEY KEPT ASKING HER ABOUT STUFF AND MAKING HER UNCOMFORTABLE AND I JUST WANTED TO PUNCH THEM ALL IN THE THROAT.

   THEN WE WERE HOLDING HANDS AND MY MOM SAID "be careful, if people see how close you are they might think you're one of those people."

   SHE FUCKING RAN AWAY AND SHE WAS SO UPSET.

   OKAY YOU CAN FÛCK WITH ME HOWEVER MUCH YOU WANT BUT YOU DONT DO THAT. YOU DONT MAKE THE MOST AMAZING PERSON IN THIS WORLD CRY. SHE ISNT USED TO BEING AROUND PEOPLE LIKE MY FAMILY.

   SO YEAH, MAYBE I WAS RIGHT TO SLAP HER, BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER CAUSE I DID AND I MEANT IT.

   SHE WAS CRYING AND SO UPSET AND I HAD TO TELL MY MOM THAT SHE WAS UPSET BECAUSE HER UNCLE WAS GAY AND IT WAS HORRIBLE I WANT TO PUNCH THE WALL AND JUMP OFF A CLIFF AND KILL SOMETHING.

   I FUCKING FUCKED UP.

   WHY AM I LIKE THIS?!

   I can't fucking handle this anymore.

   I don't want to hurt her, I'm supposed to be protecting her, and I'm just an idiot.

   She says it's fine, she says she's fine, but I can tell she isn't. I know her and I know when she isn't okay and I wish she would just tell me so I can help her but I can't because I'm the idiot who made her feel this way and I don't deserve someone so ethereal.

   I did this, I'm the idiot that hurt her, and now she doesn't trust me to pick up the pieces.

   I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

   Someone fucking slit my throat.