Wake Up, Get Paid, Get Laid, Gatorade

Boring

My fav twat garbage-truck tagged me so here u go!

Ya twat

1. What professional quidditch team do you support?

Is there a team just for emos?

Bands?

Flaming homosexuals?

Any of those work.

2. Am I a twat?

Of course suiteheart, but in the best way!

3. If you could describe your aesthetic in one word, what would it be?

Trash

4. Are you a Whovian?

*hides bag of homemade jelly babies and Tardis hoodie*

UM

5. Are you a Sherlockian?

Sorry, I know the Internet is gonna murder me, but I'm not

6. Favorite foreign film?

YouTube

7. Did you like Dan's diss track?

A month without uploading he comes back with a tag - whoo
That no one even tagged him he's not a challenge to drag - ouch
So prepare for an attack and by that I mean cringe - cringe
Cause this motherfuckers bout to be dragged by his fringe

First things first you're freakishly tall it's weird you look like a noodle - true
You've got hair that was cool in 2007 and wet you just took like a poodle - hobbit
Throw in a really annoying posh voice and yep that's dan - posh
You're what would happen if winnie the pooh fucked slender man

You procrastinate making videos, cause being judged is scary? - ooh
You're so close to being forgotten, the hate's imaginary - woah
The only reason you get views is you're another white guy
That people ship with his friend cause they think it's kawaii

Oh
Reasons why dan's a fail (Yay!)
I'll give you some

You never tweet you overeat all you do is cry and sleep
You're jokes are shitposts and memes with no originality - uh huh
Your family's sad your flopped your law degree at university
And anything embarrassing that's from your past you just delete

You were vegan for like three weeks then what you missed the meat? - milk
Wow I'm so impressed by your clear moral integrity
You try so hard to be peaceful and diplomatic
But can't make toast without tumblr saying you're problematic - boo

I could go on there's more if I check
There's more things on this list than chins on your neck
On your birthday you joked you were a quarter way to death
100? yeah when getting out of bed makes you out of breath - real

So your celebrity crush was j-law but now it's evan p - mhmm
Wtf even is your sexuality
It's hard to put you in a box when you keep it so blurry - what is it
I think it's just to hide that you're secretly a furry

I'm joking
Obviously

Okay that went deep
Repress it? Yup!
Before I start crying let's wrap this shit up

I'm gonna go and masturbate, then cry into a slice of pizza - feelings
Shout out to the other youtubers especially Ryan Higa
A cringe compilation mixed with cultural appropriation
Met with no depreciation it's the youtube nation

Click subscribe, if you wanna watch 4 videos a year - or 3
To see my last one from 10 years ago just click over here - fail
So leave a comment with your reaction you can call me a liar
Cause you just witnessed the roast of danisnotonfire!

*explosion noises*

(It was amazing)

8. Is Phil precious?

THE MOST PRECIOUS AND AMAZING AND ADORABLE HUMAN ON PLANET EARTH

9. Have you lost your sanity yet by answering these pointless questions?

Trust me, I lost my sanity long before I was doing tags!

Actually I don't think I ever had it...

10. Sociopath or psychopath?

I'm both!

11. Are you bilingual?

I can't speak one language fluently and I probably never will.

12. Favorite Panic! At The Disco album?

Pretty. Odd.

13. Sexuality?

I'm not sure if you've heard of it, it's called FUCK YOUR LABELS I'LL LOVE WHOEVER THE FUCK I WANT!

Seriously though I'm more partial to dudes, but I don't care. There are some hot chicks out there!

But then again I'm 100% Stumpsexual so...

14. Eye color?

I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING GUYS MY EYES ARE BASICALLY BLACK.

LIKE THEY ARE SO DARK YOU CANT TELL WHICH PART IS MY PUPIL AND WHICH PART IS THE COLOR!

So yeah, eyes are the window to the soul, and mine are JET BLACK.

15. Do you play any instruments?

Piano, guitar, and a little drums.

I'm too lazy to tag anyone RN I will later or probably never.

PEACE OUT BITCHES