Literally all week, my mood has been... weird. I don't really know where my head is these days, but I do know that freestyle dancing is the only thing that makes it better.
It's not that I feel bad or unhappy. I feel fine. I just... I can't explain the emotion. It's just weird. My mom actually checked to see if I was taking drugs lol.
Thank goodness I'm fortunate to be able to go downstairs and blast my music. I've got plenty of space to dance down there. I've done nothing but rap, sing, and dance this week, honestly. Plus some gaming, but I sing/rap when I play games.
I don't just dance when I'm dancing. No. I dance freestyle song after song after song until I'm drenched in sweat and ready to pass out. But even when I get to that point, I press on and push myself to keep going. And I'm not even using my inhaler, oops. (I guess this proves that I don't need it.)
I'm becoming addicted to the feeling of fatigue. It makes me feel like I've accomplished something great, actually. Being defeated feels rewarding; the irony. I love the adrenaline that comes with pushing my body's limits, but I also love just jamming along to stuff.
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Slowly, I'm starting to dance outside of the comfort zone of the basement and just sort of letting my body flow with the music. My style is a lot like Hoseok's even though my skill is sad, but it's fun. I'm enjoying myself, even though I feel weird in my own little world...
*casually inserts HOBI freestyle*
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