Book of Shiteu the 2nd

Punctuality is a CRIME

HobisHearteu's mom's instructions for getting somewhere in a timely fashion:

•Don't start getting ready to go until it's actually time to leave.

•Don't watch the clock. It'll make you panic and we don't want that.

•You can get in the car when you're done, but make sure you forget to grab or do something at least 3 times.

•Don't start driving until the event has already started.

•If you have passengers, make sure to verbally blame them for making you late.

•Safely speed through traffic like a stunt driver and maybe run a red light or two because "we're already fifteen minutes late."

•Once you arrive, you have two options:

First option:
•Get out of the car in a hurry while (if you have any) getting on to your passengers for being slow.

•Forget your phone or another essential in the car after you've already shut and locked the door and have to retrieve it.

•Make a mad dash to your destination.

Second option:
•Spend approximately six minutes with the vehicle in park, reflecting on how late you actually are.

•Sigh heavily.

•Continuously glance at the clock and decide that you're actually too late now.

•Make at least two solid excuses as to why it'll be okay for you to not go. The most popular fallback is: "It'll be rude to show up this late. It just doesn't feel right to disrupt everyone."

•Ask the passengers (if there are any) how they would feel about not going and use the excuses you came up with. (What they think doesn't actually matter, you just have to make them feel like they have a say.)

•"Reluctantly" ditch the event and be cranky for the rest of the day, making everyone around you miserable, too.

•(optional) develop a new and improved strategy that will guarantee punctuality next time, and then not use it.

In my household, punctuality is a crime. Procrastinate or else you get yelled at. You better be late because if you're not, you're not a true member of this family. Don't get things done in a timely manner because that's a sin here.

Yeahhhhh well there are just some things that need to get done sooner rather than later... My mom forgets to do things bc she procrastinates so much. For example, there was this one thing she was supposed to get done over a weekend that is really important, and it won't take but 5 minutes tops to do it! But she puts it off, claiming that she's "busy" when she's really not.

Sometimes I think, 'Why not give her my reason(s) as to why being timely actually matters?' lol nope.

That is always, ALWAYS, regarded as me "reprimanding" her. My reminders for her ALWAYS coming across as me "riding her ass." I wasn't trying to be rude, and I'm sorry but there's no time to get butthurt.

I swear she is such a child sometimes.

And then with school and and plane flights and appointments, there's things I gotta get done beforehand. I tell her the things I need help with (mainly because I can't drive... I can't go consult the honors career guidance lady bc I can't drive. I can't go buy shampoo myself bc I can't drive. I can't go to Baba's and look around for things I need bc I can't drive fml) I need her assistance, but what does she say? "Okay, but that doesn't have to be done today."
Tomorrow, she will same the same thing.
And the next day.
And the day after that.
She'll wait until the night before to be like, "Okay what do you need to get ready?"