I woke up later than usual, drew myself and bath with candles and incense. I knew the coming months were going to be long and arduous so I figured why not pamper myself while I had the time. I grab a book and lay back in the bubbles until the water gets much too cold for my liking. I moisturize, fluff my hair down from the clip it was in, getting rid of any unsightly bends or intentions the hair clip might have left. I pull on a silk robe and lounge around my bedroom for a while- reading, writing. I hear music wafting in my windows and it's so familiar. Joni Mitchell, Help Me as I recall. It's from her Court and Spark record and it always makes me think of right before Lindsey and I got with Fleetwood Mac. I start humming along to it, singing a few odd words here and there and feeling tears spring to my eyes. I'm right back in 1974. Swaying a little as the song ends, I look out my window to find out where the music is coming from. I don't have any close neighbors, I'm home alone....I look down from my tower, as Lindsey loved to call it, and see an unfamiliar car in my driveway. How did they get through the gates? Had someone let my code slip and now it was anyone's for the taking? My thoughts terrified me and I dial the only number I can think of.
"Hello?"
"Karen, there's someone outside!" I whisper fiercely.
"Call the police? Why are you calling me?"
"I don't want to make a scene just yet. Have you given out my code?"
"No, why would I? You are the only one who gives that code out."
"I suppose that's true." I calm down a little and my heart rate slows but Karen still sounds on edge. I'm watching the car intently. "Oh my God, I think they're getting out! What should I do?"
"Do you recognize them? Call the police!"
"Wait..."
"Stevie, what if the person is an ax murderer?" I laugh at this. "I'm serious. Get off the phone with me and call the police. Call me back if you need me, okay?!"
"Okay" I say. Just as I'm about the dial 911, there is a knock at my door and I notice I haven't been paying attention. The car now sits empty. My stomach drops. I go downstairs, eyeing the phone but look cautiously out the peep hole in my door.
"Stevie, it's just me. You don't have to hide"
The unfamiliar person in that unfamiliar car has a very familiar voice and I smile.
"You scared the shit out of me! I was about to call the police!" I say, laughing at myself and unlocking the door.
"I'm sorry" he laughs, and I give him a peck on the cheek.
"Did you get a new car? Why didn't you call me first?"
"I remember you saying you loved surprises."
I push him playfully and he hugs me, rubbing my back soothingly and it feels so good through the silk of my robe. "I should probably get dressed. I had no idea I'd be having company. Make yourself at home, I'll be right back down in a minute" I hurry up the stairs after I see him sit down on my couch. I put on just a touch of makeup and come down the stairs wearing a flowing black skirt and blouse with no shoes. He had already taken his shoes off at the door and I smiled. "You remembered" I said, pointing to his bare feet and he chuckled.
"Of course I did."
"Were you scared of my wrath?" I asked.
"Maybe a little." He blushed as I brushed his hand with mine, joining him on the couch.
"Water, wine?"
"A bit early to start, isn't it?" Then he laughed "Wine would be excellent. I'll do the honors"
I show him where I keep my wine collection, though it's not very big and he picks what he feels is best. I keep looking him up and down, he looks so good to me. I watch him uncork the bottle and I get out the glasses. He pours them expertly and hands me a glass. "Shall we?" I ask and we go back into the living room. I feel his eyes on me and I don't feel uncomfortable, in fact I'm flattered. A lot has changed over the years, I'm not longer the pixie waif he remembers, but he seems to like it. When we talk, his eyes are wandering all over the place. I stop talking and he looks away.
"I'm sorry" he tells me and I wave it off. "No, really...I should be ashamed of myself"
"Why?" I play dumb. I want the compliments, I crave the compliments. It's been so long since I've been appreciated like this by any man and I want to hear him say it.
"Oh, come on Stevie! Look at you! You're a bloody goddess" he exclaims and I blush just like I knew I would. He lifts his hand to caress the side of my face and I close my eyes, leaning into his touch. "You've never been so gorgeous as you are now. Your curves are carved from ivory...I'm in awe of your beauty"
"Oh, stop" I say, now looking deeply into his eyes. Time stands still and I feel myself leaning forward. Our glasses are sat on the table and my lips touch his oh so gently. As soft as whisper is to the ear, he kisses me in just the same way. I press harder, kissing him with more force than he had kissed me. His hands go to my back then he plays with my hair, kissing me deeply and passionately. I pull his jacket off and run my finger nails over his shoulders and back.
"Stevie, are you sure you want to...should we be..." he asked, kissing me then suddenly pulling back. He wants to make sure he's not pressuring me into anything and I shake my head.
"I don't care" I whisper breathlessly. I hurriedly unbutton his shirt and we stand up. "Please, just don't stop"
He sweeps me up into his arms and carries me up the stairs. Clothes are strewn everywhere now and we are in bed, kissing and groping with a fury I haven't felt since my youth. He enters me swiftly and I gasp. "Jesus" he groans loudly. "My God"
"Don't stop" I tell him. He gains more leverage by reaching out and holding into my iron headboard. The bed is making such noises and it makes me giggle girlishly. He leans down to kiss my neck and chest, pushing deeper into me and picking up the pace. I'm so close and we are pushed over the edge together. I cannot believe it. It was euphoric, it was beautiful. I start to cry and he wipes my tears. I felt such love and worship coming from this man. I have known him for such a long time and the way he looked at me...it was even more special than before. His stroke were still deep but much slower than before. I don't want it to end but I feel myself clench around him again then relax in the most profound way. He lets go again and he leans down, kissing me so sensually. Nothing about this is dirty, though it may seem that way. One minute he was at my door and the next, we were in bed. Maybe it was the wine, maybe the passion was never truly gone. When we finished, he lay beside me, kissing my shoulder and holding my hand in his to his chest. He smelled magnificent and I remembered how he smelled when I first met him. He enchanted me, even then. So many years and he's still this beautiful mystery.
"I have thought about you so much over these years" he admits, kissing my knuckles. "I've missed you a lot"
"I've missed you too" The words fall out of my mouth and I realize it's true. I wasn't feeding him a line. All of my thoughts for so many years had gone to Lindsey. Did he even care about me, I'm not sure because when he left, he crushed me. I was in no way prepared to see him again or talk to him again. We had spoken briefly during the inauguration but for some reason it felt like he still wasn't really there. "Mick...I'm so nervous" I look him in the eyes and he pulls me close to him. Our bodies melt into each other, a mix of heat and pure comfort in his arms.
"I know, love. With rehearsals and going back on the road...there is always drama but I will be there for you if you need to chat or vent or...make love" I giggle softly and he kisses my hair and I can hear his smile when he speaks. "I'm serious, if you need me, I'm here. Always. I've always been here."
"Thank you" We lay together for a long while and at some point we drift off to sleep.
----
During the night, I woke up. I had no idea what time it truly was. Mick still had his eyes closed but I knew he was awake. I tried to slip out from his embrace because I was starving and wanted to find something to nibble on downstairs but just as I moved he pulled me back, holding on tighter.
"Mmmm...where are you going?" He slurred, his voice sleepy and warm.
"I'm so hungry. I haven't eaten a thing"
"I can help with that" I give him a look and he opens one eye. "Mind out of the gutter, my sweet. I mean, I could take you out to dinner. I'm famished"
"Alright. Let me shower, get dressed...you know?"
"Sure love. Just be ready in an hour" He swings his legs over the side of the bed and goes to gather his clothes.
"So you're not going to join me?" I ask, arching an eyebrow and the look on his face is priceless.
"I, I didn't want to assume...but I was hoping" he stammered.
"Oh come on, you big goofball" He drops his clothes where he stood and grabs my hand.
Needless to say, a lot more than bathing took place in that shower and it was thrilling. He always brought out the playful side of me and I welcomed it. I had felt so sad for so long and I felt truly alone. It was nice to have him around. We got dressed and he took me out to a small Authentic Mexican restaurant. He held my hand and we talked. It was so nice to get a little attention, positive attention this time. The food came- more laughter, more conversation, more compliments. I smiled more than I had in a long time. The night ended and he brought me home. He kissed me tenderly on the lips and wished me a good night. He turned around and left, just like that. I was honestly so surprised. I went inside and took my boots off, rubbing my tired feet. The same Court and Spark record came through the walls and windows again. Joni's warm soprano crashed into me in the most heavenly and heartbreaking way.
I do my best
And I do good business
There's a lot of people asking for my time
They're trying to get ahead
They're trying to be a good friend of mine
I was a free man in Paris
I felt unfettered and alive
There was nobody calling me up for favors
And no one's future to decide
You know I'd go back there tomorrow
But for the work I've taken on
Stoking the star-maker machinery
Behind the popular song....
I collapsed into the floor in my foyer and cried.
