Mine, Mine, Mine

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April 1998:

The months went by and promotion for Enchanted was underway. I was exhausted, growing hugely pregnant and grumpier by the day. My moods were up and down and Lindsey and I would fight twice a much as we made up. Today was one of those days where it was down hill from the second I woke up. I come downstairs in the morning and there are pieces of burned toast as far as the eye could see. He claims the toaster was going haywire but I was not so convinced. There was smoke, possibly fire and I wasn't ready for it. I tried to ignore it as I made myself a cup of tea. I sat down in the living room, my feet up on the ottoman as I read a European fashion magazine.
"Steph!" He yelled and I ignored him. "Stephanie!"
"Yes, Lindsey?" I answered, casually.
"Did you check your schedule with Karen? You were supposed to be up hours ago"
"I need 'me' time. I will call her later. I don't know why I have to be up when I'm not doing anything today" I lifted my beautiful little tea cup to my lips, taking a dainty sip to test the temperature.
"You're rarely doing anything at all" he muttered under his breath. I heard him and my eyes grew wide. I put my tea and magazine down, hoisting myself out of my comfortable chair and marched over to him. I threw the breakfast carnage around me into the trash can out of frustration- it was driving me crazy!
"Excuse me?" I hissed.
"What do you want, Stephanie?" The way he said my name did not sit well with me.
"I heard you"
"You heard what?"
"That I rarely do anything at all!" I slammed my hand down on the counter and it made an awful sound. I also kind of hurt my hand with the force but I wouldn't let him know that.
"Just go upstairs and get dressed, I'll be finished with breakfast soon then you can eat something. We've got to start planning to go back to LA. You have to perform at the end of the month and do your press...things" he says, gesturing with his hand.
"No, you will not just brush me off. You will not speak to me like that. I demand you respect me!" I was angry and I could feel my blood pressure rising.
"Save it" he says, not looking at me.
"I will not! Yes, I've slowed down tremendously but only because I'm giant, tired and you told me to!" My voice is getting shrill.
He looks up now. "Are you finished?"
"No, I am not finished! I'm so tired of you picking at me and saying little snide comments! It's like 1976 all over again!"
"Oh it is not, you're just being sensitive"
"Do not dismiss me Lindsey Buckingham!"
"Calm your beautiful tits, Stephanie Buckingham!" We glare at each other and I'm the first one to crack. "Goddammit Lindsey!" I say, laughing.
"What?"
"Calm my beautiful tits? Really?"
"Well...you were freaking out"
"You win, you big jerk." I playfully punch him in the arm and he grabs me.
"Won't you give me a kiss?"
"Fine" I give him the tiniest kiss on the lips but he pulls me into him, kissing me harder. He pushes my silk robe off my shoulder and begins kissing down my neck and chest. "No Lindsey" I say, pressing a hand between us.
"Come on, Steph. Gimme a half hour and I will make you feel so, much, better" he tells me, punctuating his words with kisses. 
"No" He grabs my bum, going up my back and tangling his hand into my long hair, all the while planting sloppy wet kisses all over me. "No, baby" He keeps going, untying my robe. "Stop it!" I shout, pushing him away and tying my robe back up.
"You never let me touch you anymore" he says angrily, pressing down on his erection through his pajama pants.
"That's a lie and you know it. We made love last night" He realized that was true and shifted.
"And before that?"
"The most we've gone without it was like 2 days"
"Two days too long, Stephanie. Look at you"
"I'm giant"
"Not you're not. You're beautiful and sexy"
"I never said I wasn't." I fluffed my hair, an air of confidence in my voice. I still cared a lot about how I looked and I liked my body for once. "Those things are not mutually exclusive. You just cannot deny the fact that our little girl is getting bigger by the second and I'm not always comfortable"
"Okay"
"Later, okay?"
"Whatever"
"Don't whatever me. I'm not lying to you, Lindsey" I feel my fiery temper starting to flair again and I do my best to keep it in check. "I'm going to take a shower and get ready. See you in an hour. Don't burn the house down."
"My house, I can burn it down if I want" he says, challenging me.
"Our house and no you can't" I kiss him passionately. "I love you, asshole"
"Love you too, bitch"
"Don't call me that!" He slaps my butt and I squeal.
"See you in an hour"
"Be good" I point my finger at him then go back upstairs.

I spend a decent amount of time in the shower because I really didn't have time for a long luxurious bath. I wash my hair, shave my legs and lather on a cream body wash. After I'm done I stand under the warm water for a little while longer. When I get out, I wrap my hair in a towel, dry off my body and I put coconut oil on my belly to prevent stretch marks (so far it has been working), continuing with a decadently rich lotion on my arms, legs and chest. I moisturize my face then put on my makeup, but nothing too dramatic as I have no idea what I'm doing today. I go to my closet room and pick out an outfit, shoes, jewelry etc. When I come back downstairs, Lindsey is eating cereal and drinking coffee, sitting on a stool at the bar in the kitchen.
"Did you give up on breakfast?" I ask.
"Enough, Stevie" he says firmly. I was taken aback by his mood.
"I didn't do anything, I just thought you were making something else" He is silent. I walk over and put my arms around him, he shrugs them off. "Are you mad at me?" My feelings are hurt and I know he hears it in my voice.
He sighs. "No, I'm just angry at myself"
"Why?"
"I can't take care of you. You saw what happened with toast. Toast!"
"You make great French toast, omelets, pancakes..."
"That took forever and I tried so hard. They weren't perfect but I followed my mother's instructions to a tee"
"Maybe you're a recipe person. Lots of people are. You take care of me in so many great and wonderful ways, Linds. Let me handle the toast." I kiss his cheek. "I'm so proud to be your wife"
"Even when I piss you off?" He asks.
"Even when you piss me off. You're my husband, and it makes me so very happy to know that you are mine, mine, mine"

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