I wake up, the sun streaming into the room and I look around. I'm in my living room....with Lindsey.
"Oh no..." I say, sitting up. I find my clothes and put them on quickly.
"Morning, angel" he says, his voice soft and raspy.
"Lindsey...you have to go" I say, clearly panicked.
"That is not at all what you said last night."
"Oh my god!" I'm bright pink and he strokes my face.
"Relax, baby"
"Karen will be over soon"
"And?"
"She's gonna know what's up. She always does"
"Well, what's up?"
"I, I don't know"
"Listen to me, Stephanie...I mean--"
"Shhh, it's okay." He smiles when I let him call me by my birth name. So long I resisted. His cell phone is ringing on the table. I know by the look on his face just who it is. "Answer it" I say, getting up to go upstairs. I hop in the shower, knowing Aria will be up soon. I try to be as quick as possible, so I don't wash my hair. I throw on some clothes and go check on my baby. She's gone. I'm freaking out, running around like a chicken with my head cut off while I'm checking all the rooms upstairs. "Lindsey!" I cry. "Aria, she's--" I stop.
"I'm sorry, angel. She got out of her bed when you were in the shower and she came down here to say hi."
"Oh my gosh, you scared me, sweet girl!" I tell her, wiping my tears. I tickle her and she giggles.
"Tada mommy! I gotted down here all by my own!" Aria says proudly, clinging to her father as he balances her on his hip.
"Yes you did!" Lindsey says, kissing her.
"We play with daddy all together?"
"Is that okay, daddy?" I ask him and he nods. "Your phone call?"
"I have to go back tonight"
"Oh..."
"But I will come back."
"No, it's okay" I tell him. He looks sad so I flash him a half smile. "You have another life now. They need you"
"Play, daddy! Outside? In the water!"
"The water?" Lindsey asks.
"She means the pool. She loves to swim, don't you Ari?"
"Uh-huh and I swimmeded so fastly like a shark!" She tells him enthusiastically.
"Like a shark? Wow! That's very fast!"
"You be little fish and I be shark, okay?" Aria looks at him, studying him. "Down?" She asks, pointing to the floor.
"Let me help you put on your bathing suit" I tell her as she climbs the stairs. "Careful, sweet girl" I jog after her, going to her room. After a minute he follows and joins us, standing in the doorway. His eyes tour the room.
"She likes horses?"
"Yes, she's crazy about them. She says she wants to be a cowgirl"
"Not a rockstar?" He asks.
"No, daddy. You a rockstar and mommy a rockstar. Not me"
"Why not?"
She sighs. "Just because." she says with exasperation, gesturing wildly. "I not a rockstar, I a cow girl."
"Oh, right. Of course"
"Yeah" she says.
"She always has to have the last word" I say, and Lindsey smiles. Once Aria is suited up she runs out of the room. "Ari, sunscreen!" I chase after her with the bottle in my hand.
"Let me help, Steph" he offers and I accept.
"I'm starting to think I'm too old for this"
"Never. You remain ageless" he says, kissing my cheek.
"That was written about you" I said.
"But I sang it with you in mind"
"We were such a cute couple" I say, remembering us all those years ago. "They would be so disappointed" My shoulders slump forward and I continue downstairs to find my daughter sitting at the kitchen table.
"Are you hungry, baby girl?" Lindsey asks and she nods. "Breakfast, sunscreen, then swimming" he tells her and off we go with our first task. I turn on the stove to make oatmeal for all of us. Lindsey is singing to her and she knows some of the songs, so she sings the words she knows back. He tells her when he comes back he will bring his guitar and they can sing together. My heart explodes!
Karen comes in and Aria greets her with a hug. She notices a very familiar man in the kitchen and shakes her head disapprovingly.
"Be nice" I whisper to her when she gives me the mail. "Ooh! A letter!" I say and let Lindsey finish up the oatmeal under Karen's supervision so I can read it in peace. I open it and I'm shocked. Tears spring to my eyes as I begin to read.
"Dear Ms Nicks,
I don't know if you remember me but I was the woman you spoke to at a restaurant in LA almost 3 years ago. You held my baby daughter Rhiannon and I had my two other children with me. Well, since meeting you, so many amazing things happened! I don't know if this letter with get to you or if you will even read it (I'm sure you get a lot of mail) but you have made such a huge impact on my life, even beyond your music. I confessed to you that my husband had walked out on me and I had no job, hardly any money...you paid my bill that day and I hugged you. I felt you weren't alone, and I knew you'd be an amazing mother. I'm sorry I'm rambling but I promise I will get to the point soon."
I chuckle. She's still the sweet girl I remember that day. I'm shocked it's her, I'm blown away.
"The week after I met you I found a great job making good money. I am finally able to use my degree and they even have a daycare service so I wouldn't have to leave my kids or pay for expensive child care in the city. I truly feel like the magic surrounding you that day helped me find my way and you were right, everything will turn out amazing.
Thank you from the bottom of my wild heart!
So much love and light, my idol
-Emily"
I immediately go to my desk and write her back, just a small note.
Emily~
Thank you so much for your beautiful letter!
My dear, the magic did not come from me. The magic was inside you all along~
As they said in The Wizard of Oz and that's totally true.
You had everything you needed already, you just needed confidence things could get better and I'm happy I could have given that to you. Your letter finds me at an interesting and remarkable time in my life too. You said I was an angel but you, Sweet Girl, are the real angel.
Love
Stevie
I fold my letter and place it an envelope, handing it back to Karen. "Please make sure she gets this" I say, wiping my tears. I tell her who the letter came from and she too was floored. I'm so happy to have been able to hear from her again. I think about her and her family all the time, even now. Hearing from her was like a sign. That everything works out, if you give it enough time.
Aria shakes me out of my reverie and begs to swim with her daddy. I sit under the big umbrella and watch them swim together and I realize it's the first time I've even seen him truly interact with her. He's here, he's present, he's not angry or reclusive. He's my Lindsey again and that scares the shit out of me.
