We had a beautiful day as a family after our talk but he was taken away unexpectedly with a quick little call from Kristen. My walls went back up and I didn't speak to Lindsey for over two weeks but he definitely tried to talk to me. Karen has been deflecting his calls, letters, and a even visit because I can't bring myself to look at him. Aria was suffering just as much as I was without him and it was killing me. I felt like he would never forgive me for this last stunt. He had just confessed to me he was always afraid he would lose me.
Each time he tries to contact me, reality crashes over me and I know we will never be the same. Could be a good thing, could be a bad thing but either way, it's going to change everything. I keep thinking about everything he said to me, running through the lines over and over.
"Who was it?" I ask, hearing the phone ring.
"Who do you think?" I sigh with her response. "You have to stop doing this."
"Doing what?"
"You know what you're doing and you need to quit. You're torturing him"
"You told me you didn't like him and that you hoped I never got back with him just last month"
"Well, I changed my mind. He's been treating you guys really good. Aria talks about him all the time and you seemed happy when you would come back from your little adventures. You keep flip flopping and no one knows which way is up anymore, Stevie. You forgave him for something you once deemed unforgivable"
"I feel like he's not going to forgive me"
"Try. You never know, he could surprise you"
"I doubt it." I say, sitting at the counter in my kitchen. "I've put this man through hell. I've broken him. I saw it in his eyes."
"And look, no divorce papers. If he was over you and wanted to end this permanently, don't you think he would have served you by now?"
"I guess."
"Go to him"
I sit there, thinking for a moment until Aria barrels into me, nearly knocking me off the barstool.
"Whoa, where's the fire, Missy?"
"Silly, mommy, there's no fire!"
"Why were you running?"
"Can daddy come play sharks?"
"No, baby. Not today."
"But I miss him!"
"I know. Maybe one day you guys can play sharks again"
"Like the next day?"
"I don't know about that"
"Can we call him? Can he play my special song?"
"What's your special song? Maybe I can play it"
"No mommy, it's a song only daddy can play. It's the bestest song ever"
"The bestest song ever? Wow! Now I know we have got to hear this song!"
"Make mommy call daddy, Aunt Karen!" She pleads and Karen gives me a look.
"We will call him, Aria" I go to the phone, nervous. I pick it up and dial the number I now know by heart. It rings and rings and for a moment, I want to hang up.
"Hello?" A woman's voice answers and I'm crushed.
"I must have the wrong number" I say, trying to get off the phone.
"Oh my God! Is this Stevie Nicks?!" She asks sounding every bit the groupie I believe her to be.
"Yeah, yeah it is." I motion for Karen to take Aria out of the room and she nods, inviting my little girl to play with makeup. I roll my eyes even though I secretly love her interest in all things pink and girly.
"Oh, well Lindsey is in the shower. He got so hot and sweaty. We've been having wild, crazy sex all day" she says, taking me right out of the warm and fuzzy feelings I had when I was watching my daughter.
"What are you trying to do here, Kristen?" I'm already done with her. Her very existence infuriates me to no end.
"I'm getting to it. He said you've been a real bitch. That you told him to leave and that he couldn't bring his daughter back here when you're the one who ran away."
"That's not at all what happened. Just tell him I called, okay?"
"No, stay on. I think you should hear how he screams my name. He says I'm the best he's ever had." My eyes are filling with tears. "He's so stupid, Stevie. First, he gets with a fat cow like you, then he pays me so much money for a kid that's not even his!" She laughs and I could easily strangle her if she were in front of me.
"What are you talking about? The test results said Lindsey is Will's father"
"They were faked. I had to seal them so I could get the results changed. He has so much money, Stevie and he's so good in bed. But you know that, don't you? I couldn't let him go. When he went back to you, I had to find a way to keep him right here. His real dad is my friend Dave, the magazine guy I told Lindsey about. He doesn't even realize it! He goes to all of Will's appointments with us, too. I told Lindsey he's my brother and he believed me!" Her uncontrollable laughter makes me physically ill as I'm listening to her recount her lies to me. "Oh and the best part, I can tell you all of this and you can't say anything. You broke his heart, he won't believe a word you say! He doesn't even want to see you any more. I'm the one he wants"
I can't take it anymore and let it all come out. "Listen here and you listen good, sweet cheeks" I hiss and it makes her stop laughing right away. "I'm done with you fucking around with my husband, my family and my life. You are nothing but a two bit whore looking for her 15 minutes. It's pretty sad that you have so little talent and so little self respect that you have to cling, like a dying rose to a trellis, to a celebrity for any attention at all. You're not even really pretty, Kristen. Want to know why? Because you have the ugliest soul I have ever seen. It's black and festering like a sore. It's disgusting! You infect everything around you. It's sad, it's truly so sad."
"Well...Whatever, you...you're just jealous of me because you're old and washed up." She says, stumbling over her words.
"Ha! You will never have even a millisecond of what I've had! It's a shame your son will have to grow up with you as a mother. I honestly feel so bad for him. Now that all of this has come out, now that we've had this little talk- I wish so much that Lindsey was really that little boy's father because he needs someone to balance out all of your bullshit." I think I've made her cry and I smile. I can't stop myself. "If I were you, I would try to find someone else to use as a stepping stone because your time is up with Lindsey. You wait and see, honeybunch. Don't test me because I will end you." I'm seething and I hang up, slamming the phone down. Aria runs back into the room all made up with rouge to her hairline and red lipstick and wearing a feather boa and hat. She hugs my legs, looking up at me.
"Was he there, mama?" She asks me and my facial expression goes from anger to joy right away.
"No, baby. Uh, it was a wrong number. We can try again later"
We take Aria into the living room to play and I tell Karen everything Kristen said and she's shocked. "How could someone do something like this? She's sick! We have to tell someone!" I say, letting it all hit me now, tears streaming down my face.
"I have an idea. Do you know what hospital Will goes to for his transfusions?"
"Yeah"
"Find his doctor."
"He won't tell me anything, I'm no relation to Will"
"Lindsey says he wants to donate blood right? They can run a DNA test."
"That's genius!" My eyes grow so wide, realizing our love story may not be over. The dream isn't over.
Karen talks to a friend of hers that works at the hospital. She's a phlebotomist and she is the one often testing Will's blood, responsible for all donations and making sure the tests needed are performed with the vials they obtain. More than a week goes by and I feel like it's a bust. Another week and I'm beside myself. Three weeks pass and we finally get a call. Lindsey has donated blood and it will be tested to make sure it's a match in blood type first as Will's mother is not. Then they will run a paternity test. I'm so happy that everything is underway, and I will be even happier when I take Kristen down. All I need now is to get to talk to Lindsey.
Karen calls his manager and to our surprise, he's staying for two nights, playing one night in Phoenix and is staying at the Hilton.
"I have to see him" I tell her. I call a car, Karen watches Aria for me and I quickly get ready. I put on a deep red dress that has a fitted slip lining with a softer chiffon overlay and beaded detailing. Much like something I wore in the early 80s. Thankfully most of my pieces are timeless to me and I can wear the same style of thing over and over. It gives me great cleavage, not that I need the help now, and I feel really good in it. I will need the confidence. I pair it with high boots, fluff my long hair, put on a sexier make up look than I'm used to these days and little red lipstick. When I come downstairs, Karen praises my appearance. I'm thankful for the boost. My stomach is going insane and I feel faint but I know it's just nerves. The car arrives and I head off in search of Lindsey so maybe, just maybe when this is over, we can finally be a family again.
Also, 50 chapters! Already!! I'm having so much fun writing this!!
