Things are moving quickly during the drive and several times, the irrational part of me comes out. I have suggested pulling over and having the baby in a field of daisies, I've suggested driving back up to the cabin, I've told him to turn around and go back so I can be with my mama and he's had to try his best to focus on driving through all of this. The short drive is so long to me because my contractions are now one on top of the other. I'm in a very good mood, very excited but I really don't want to sit in a hospital bed. We finally arrive and as soon as we get out of the car my water breaks and it's like a waterfall. So much comes out and I'm overcome by the pressure and the downward force as soon as the feeling of relief leaves me. I moan, holding onto Lindsey and his eyes are so wide, they might pop out. I feel high! Colors are bright and everything is beautiful. I didn't expect it to go this way. The horror stories prepared me for all of the darkness and upset going on but I am so happy. In a ton of pain, but so very happy. The midwives back home helped me see so much beauty in this event and I'm thankful for all they taught me.
Per request, I'm taken to a private room in their birthing center, rather than automatically going to the hospital's maternity ward. I'm low risk and she's perfect. All I have against me is age but according to my parallel care providers (midwives and doctors), I haven't been risked out for any reason. My room is beautiful. Lots of light, a double bed and it looks like a hotel room rather than a cold sterile hospital room that gives me anxiety. The lighting is soft and Lindsey begins to lay out my little altar of sorts. Crystals, feathers, essential oils and angel cards. I see a familiar face and I wave. She almost doesn't believe her eyes and I don't believe mine.
"Steph!" She squeals, coming over. "Can I come in?" She asks.
"Of course, Delia!" Before me is one of midwives from up north and I am shocked. "What are you doing down here?" She is an amazing distraction right now.
"A friend of mine had a baby a couple days ago and was just discharged."
"I don't want to keep you then"
"She wanted time to go home and bond so I was going to go back up to the mountain. I don't have anywhere to be, though. Do you want company?"
I nod. "I'm so glad you're here" She hugs me and I instantly relax. I don't dare get on that bed yet, I much prefer to stand and be mobile. The thought of laying down is unappealing.
"You are so beautiful! How are doing?"
"Pretty good. Pressure waves in full force" I stop, swaying through intense sensations, as she would call them. Pressure waves is much more of a Blythe thing. I miss them all so much. We spent so many hours talking and relaxing at the house. I hope after we go back home, they will visit.
"You're doing amazing, Steph. What sensations are you feeling? Where are you feeling them?"
"Downward pressure since the beginning for sure. She has moved down in the past week and even more today. My hips, lower back and pelvis. Vice grip is the only way I can describe it"
"Good, good" she says, rubbing my back. "Your doctor, Des Cooper , is a friend of mine as well"
"That's so lucky!"
"There is magic all around this little one" she says. "Yes she's definitely ready. Very engaged. Your energy is so great. Watching you is amazing. Otherworldly power is pouring through you. You are doing a beautiful job" She tells me, encouraging me to press forward. We talk for a little more about how Sage and Blythe have been and what she has been up to but something shifts inside of me and it changes the energy of the entire room. I become laser focused and no one speaks. The nurse comes to check on me and Delia sits at my bedside or across the room. She shuffles her cards and lays them out, smiling. She reminds me a lot of my Aunt Carmel and it makes me feel at ease. Lindsey helps in any way he can but he feels the shift too and just kisses me when I need attention or sways with me. The nurse comes in again, this time with my doctor. He sees Delia and smiles, giving her a hug before beginning.
"When she said she has midwives, I was hoping she meant you!" He said. "I hear you're doing an amazing job. You are so close to being complete. Let us know when you get those urges and we will help you"
"She's been vocalizing a little more and her focus is incredible. She's really, really close now" I emit an unearthly sound from the back of my throat, and there is so much energy coursing through me. The sensations change again and I motion for Lindsey to come to me. I instinctively crouch down as low as I can and I hum a long and low sound. Lindsey wordlessly follows my lead and intuitively helps me hold my position.
"Ahhhhhh" She is definitely coming. My doctor kneels before me and asks if this is how I need to be or if another place feels better. I need this. Right now. The ring of fire sensation overtakes me and I know she's right there.
"Great job, Stephanie" I hear but it's not Delia, it's Lindsey. "Beautiful, honey. Amazing, angel" My body is doing the work and my spirit is so focused. Angels surround us in this beautiful space and in no time, she's here. Her soft cry fills the room and I pull her to my chest.
"Oh my God!" I exclaim. I'm in tears and I'm so in love. I hold her while the placenta is birthed and her cord is cut when it has finished pulsating. I'm helped up onto the bed and I just stare at my miracle.
"May 26th, 1998. Aria Christine Buckingham. 9lbs 4ozs of chunky perfection." I hear someone report.
"You are so amazing" Lindsey says to me, kissing me as we let them clean her up, diaper her and wrap her in a warm blanket. She is given back to me and she looks so peaceful. Her hair isn't as dark as Lindsey's but it's definitely brown and she has my nose and lips. I am inspired by her beauty. "Can I hold her?" He asks and I nod, smiling at him. He takes her from me and tears roll down his cheeks. "We made her! I mean, you did all the work but oh my god, she's an angel. Aria, the sweetest song we have ever created."
"Yes she is."
"You did amazing, Steph! I knew you could do it. I'm going to let you two go. But please call me when you come back up. I would love to come see you guys! I don't want our friendship to end just because the pregnancy has" She hugs us and strokes Aria's beautiful little plump cheek. "Congrats!"
"Thank you for being here" I tell her.
"She's going to be so special" She turns to leave, waving, and she's gone.
"I don't know how you made such a big baby, Steph! You are so tiny!"
"I told you she'd be a marshmallow, didn't I? It was all that hot cocoa over the winter" I giggle, pressing her to my chest again. "You are such a precious gift. The best birthday gift I have ever gotten, for sure"
"Happy birthday, mama." I look up at him and he kisses me passionately on the lips. "And happy birthday, Aria" he whispers.
