After the ordeal, Lindsey hasn't left my side once. I know he's been having trouble sleeping for the past week and I hear him playing softly on his guitar at all hours of the night.
"Baby, come to bed" I say to him, sipping a cup of lukewarm cocoa.
"I can't sleep, Steph"
"Do you want me to make you a drink?"
"You should be going to bed. You look so tired, angel. You're pregnant and you're just now recovering from what happened..."
"But I miss you holding me. We're safe Lindsey, all thanks to you. You saved us. My big, strong, sexy hero." I sit on the floor with him, kissing all over his neck and shoulders. "Let me show you how proud I am of you. How grateful I am for you"
"We really shouldn't. Aren't you still in pain?"
"The bruises will fade, so will the cuts. Please don't worry about me. I worry about you"
"You don't have to" My seduction has little to no effect.
"Please let me in. Talk to me" He's strumming on his guitar again and I take it out of his hands. "Lindsey. Don't shut me out. I'm here for you" My words hit him and he starts to cry, holding onto me for dear life. "Shhh, its okay. Aria is fine, I'm fine, Karen is fine, baby is fine...we are all doing great." I try to comfort him, pulling him into me.
"I was so scared I lost you. You were so pale and so cold. There was so much blood."
"Shhhh" I rub his back in slow circles.
"If I hadn't put work before my family, this never would have happened. It's all my fault. I put my family in danger"
"No, baby, you didn't. Don't ever say that. You didn't do anything wrong. It was just a very unfortunate event! You saved me."
"I can't believe you're here. You're alive. You're healthy. The baby is growing and Aria doesn't even remember. It's like it never happened. I just want to be like her. I can't get that image of you....lying on the floor like that...out of my head."
"It will take time. You will see, it will get so much better." He pulls back and kisses me tenderly.
"I love you, Steph"
"I love you too, Lindsey."
"Never leave me"
"I won't, honey."
"Promise me"
"I won't. Never. Of course I won't" I tell him. He nods his head and gets up from the floor, helping me up as well.
"Let's try to get some sleep" he says. We go upstairs and lay in bed together. He talks to the baby for a little bit, kissing my bump and really focusing on me...us. I start to fall asleep from pure exhaustion and he wraps his arms around me, spooning me from behind and eventually he drifts off for a little while. He wakes up a couple times and checks me over, making sure it isn't a dream, he says, and goes back to sleep.
In the morning, we are woken up by a very loud little girl! Karen comes in chasing after her, not realizing she had come in here at first.
"Careful, sweet girl. Be gentle around mommy's tummy" Karen tells her, scooping her up.
"She's okay" I say
"We made breakfast. Aria helped stir the batter for the pancakes and she even helped put the fruit in the blender. We made a smoothie too"
"Wow! I'm impressed"
"Hungry, mommy?" Aria asks. "Food, daddy?"
"Yes, my girl" Lindsey says, getting out of bed. "Lets go eat!" He takes our daughter from Karen and puts her on his shoulders, crouching down a he runs under the door frame then takes her down the stairs. I can hear her laughter filling every space in the house and I smile.
"So he finally slept?" Karen asks.
"Yes"
"Thank God. He looked like the undead."
"He told me he still thinks about what he walked in on. He keeps thinking about losing me that night and he blames himself for not being home"
"Do you think he needs to see his therapist again?"
"I don't know. I'm hoping time will help him but if worse comes to worst I will have to find him some help. But let's not talk about that" I say, changing the subject as I dress quickly.
"You have a lot of meetings and promotional interviews lined up. Rosie on May 3rd"
"Oh my gosh, I forgot!" We walk down the stairs, continuing to talk.
"Yeah, you have an album coming out."
"How do I manage to be pregnant during my last two major projects. I don't get it"
"Luck of the draw I guess."
"There's no way to hide so I guess I will just talk about it too"
"You know fans are going to respond really well again. They love Aria!"
"Yes they do. I'm thankful for them"
"You've had no negative press which is also amazing" She adds.
"Hey, no business at the breakfast table" Lindsey shouts, tickling me.
"Stop!" I protest between giggles. "Stop it!"
He stops tickling me and kisses me. "I love seeing that smile"
"You're the sweetest man." I stroke his cheek, kissing him again.
We eat breakfast and Aria is telling us crazy stories about wolves and how she once rescued a lizard when we were in Phoenix. Karen offers to load the dish washer and clean up the kitchen so I can rest. Aria plays dolls on the floor while Lindsey rubs my feet on the couch. The phone rings and Lindsey gets up to grab it. He walks into the other room for several minutes. When he comes back he looks thrilled, going back to the couch to face me.
"Babe, they pled no contest! We won't have to testify, there's no trial." he says. He kisses me over and over but then something comes into my mind.
"What happens to Will?" I whisper.
"What, honey?" he asks, pulling back from our embrace. The smile fades quickly, sensing what was coming.
"Will's parents are both in prison. Does Kristen have family?"
"I'm sure she does, Steph" he says, dismissing my question.
"You raised him for 2 years, isn't there something we can do?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Lindsey, you love that little boy. If no family steps forward, can we maybe petition the court? We can take care of him, I know we could"
"You're joking, right?"
"No, Lindsey. Why would you say something like that?"
"You told me you couldn't share me, then it comes out that she lied to me and now you want to adopt the child of some psycho who tried to kill you?!"
"I'm just scared for him. He needs a lot of care and I know with us he will have the best doctors and the very best of everything. I don't want him to fall into the system and something happen to him. I was terrified to share you but I always cared about your son. I think a part of me really loves him"
"He's not mine"
"But when we thought he was, I loved him because he was a part of you"
"Your heart is too big, Stevie" he says. I start playing with my fingers in my lap, bowing my head to let the tears fall. "I love you for that. I really do. I'm still angry about what happened. We will see what happens and if there's truly no one, we can petition"
"Really?"
"Yes, but you know that if there's any family, they will take him from us" I nod. "I'm sorry for yelling at you" he says, pulling me up from the couch to hug me.
"It's okay. I'm sure anyone in the world would say that I'm a nut job for even suggesting"
He laughs. "I can't disagree"
