"How are you?" He asks, sitting down opposite me on the floor. He tries to take my hands in his but I move them away.
"Can we just cut to the chase?" I ask. I don't care if I'm being rude, I don't want small talk when inside I'm going totally insane.
"You have to understand" He tells me, staring right at me.
"No, Lindsey, I don't. I don't have to do anything. You met up with a woman behind my back hours away from home. But not only that, you swore you'd be there for me but really you snuck down to where I was just to see her and didn't even bother to come see me" I'm so angry right now and I'm doing my best not to yell. God, is it hard. "What was so urgent?"
"You don't need to concern yourself with that. Nothing is final"
"Nothing is final? You can't keep hinting around and then not say anything at all. Tell me now or I'm going to Phoenix"
"You wouldn't" he challenges "Would you?" He looks worried that I'm serious, and boy am I.
"Oh, I would. Believe me. How did she get our phone number, what did she tell you, and why did you go see her?"
"I don't know how she got our number here but she called and said...she said she's pregnant. She's almost 6 weeks behind you. She says the baby is mine."
"So you went there to see if she was lying or you went there because you were afraid you made a mistake by being with me and not her?"
"Not at all! Jesus, Stevie! I married you, I'm committed to you"
"You suggested we take a break without giving me any say! I didn't see anyone at all while you decided to sleep with god knows who! Now Little Miss Naturally Slim says she's knocked up and she thinks it's yours?! Do you have anything to say? I mean, is it? Is it yours?!" I'm yelling now and I get up from the floor, too angry to be this close to him.
"I don't know, I'm getting a paternity test"
"And what if it is?"
"Kris said I could still visit the baby if I wanted to or I could just pay child support"
"Kris? So you're buddies now? Ugh I can't believe this! I shouldn't have come back, this was a mistake!"
"I will be called with the results"
"Fuck you Lindsey! At this point, I'm not even sure I care!"
"What are you saying, Stephanie?"
"How dare you think I would be okay with all of this bullshit! How dare you beg me to come home then tell me this! How dare you sleep with someone else when I was crying over you every fucking night! You get angry with me for keeping secrets but you keep this from me?! Fuck you, Lindsey Adams Buckingham! Fuck you!" I put on a pair of flip flops I have by the door and grab my purse from the hall closet.
"Where are you going?"
"Away from you!"
"You will not leave on your own, in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere, Stephanie! Use your fucking brain!" I whip around and fly over to him, getting as close to him as physically possible.
"Use my brain? Really Lindsey?"
"You're 7 months pregnant."
"Don't you think I know that? Maybe you should have been this concerned when I was supposed to be hours away from you and you didn't check in on me. Maybe you should have cared about that before going behind my back. We could have served her with papers and dealt with the results together. But instead, you sneak around?! You do not get to tell me what to do!" I scream. "Ouch" I say softly, wincing at the odd pain I felt. This pregnancy has been a breeze but now I'm a little scared. I haven't had any cramping or pain at all the entire time. I clutch my stomach and look away from him, tears in my eyes. "Get Karen" I tell him and he does as I ask right away.
"Are you okay, Stevie?" Karen asks.
"I, I had a weird pain. Will you stay with me?"
"Of course. What about Lindsey?"
"I don't care what he does right now. Will you take me upstairs?"
"Sure, honey" She look at me sympathetically and slips an arm around my waist, walking slowly with me.
"If I lose her because of him, I will come back here and kill him myself with my bare hands. I will haunt him, I will be his worst nightmare."
"Shhh, you're just stressed out. Tell me what happened." I take a deep breath and open my mouth to speak but she interrupts "Calmly." We sit on my bed and she grabs the nail polish off my night stand. She shakes it and I can hear the little bead in there moving around. She starts painting her toes, putting her feet up on the window sill and it feels like a sleep over I could have had when I was a young girl.
"Fine. I already told you that Bagel Bitch called him and told him it was urgent and he went to meet her, right?"
"Wait, who is Bagel Bitch?" She starts laughing and I smile slightly.
"She is the skank I told you about who told me while I was eating a bagel that there were lower calorie options when we were at the breakfast table. It was at the end of tour when Chris needed to go home. She was flaunting her 'naturally slim figure'. She was the one hanging all over Lindsey and he didn't even defend me when she asked him if I've always been that fat"
"Okay, okay. I got ya. She's the reason why you won't even touch a bagel" I nod. "You know that's idiotic, right?"
I burst out laughing. "Well, maybe it is. But the night before I had just found out I was pregnant so I was really sensitive about the way I looked." I say, defending myself.
"Okay, so Bagel Bitch--" Karen begins, smiling and I feel like she isn't taking me seriously.
"Kris" I correct.
"Okay, Kris. Kris met up with Lindsey to do what exactly?"
"She's pregnant and she's 6 weeks behind me, almost" I tell her.
"Oh no!" She says, her voice filled with dread.
"Oh yes and the baby could be Lindsey's"
"He was sleeping with people on your break?"
"Yeah and he wasn't going to tell me until he got the paternity results back. He went to LA to see if it was true."
"How did she get your number here?"
I shrug. "He says he doesn't know"
"So what are you going to do?"
"I'm still really hurt"
"I know but what if this chick is lying? What if she is just trying to cause drama...maybe she's a star fucker!"
"A what?" I ask, giggling.
"Don't play dumb. A star fucker- its pretty self explanatory!"
"Like a groupie?"
"Well yeah, but it applies to anyone trying to...you know, fuck anyone famous. Doesn't have to be a musician. They do it for their 15 minutes of fame. Any attention, even if it's bad, is good to them"
"Hmm"
"Oh come on, you've had to have heard of that before"
"Star fucker...hmm"
Karen starts laughing and that throws me into a fit off giggles.
"Oh my gosh, Aria!" I squeal as baby girl starts kicking and moving around and I smooth my belly in an attempt to calm her.
"Aria?"
"Oh my gosh, I cannot believe I said that aloud!" I cover my mouth with my hands.
"Is that what you're naming her?" Karen asks, putting the nail polish down.
"We've been playing with the idea. Lindsey said her heartbeat was the most beautiful song he had ever heard. So we thought..."
"That's a gorgeous choice." She tells me, taking my hand and squeezing it. "A beautiful name, for a beautiful girl"
"Thank you. She's my purpose. She's literally everything" I start to cry and she pulls me into her arms.
"Everything will be okay. You'll see."
"But what if that baby is his?"
"We can figure that out later. How is Aria? Any more pain?"
"She's great. I feel fine now"
"Maybe it was just a growing pain."
"Yeah, maybe" I say.
"If you feel any more, let me know, okay?"
"Alright"
"Want to come downstairs?" I shake my head. "I was going to get myself some ice cream"
"Wait- what flavor?"
"What kind do you want?" She asks, knowing she has piqued my interest.
"Vanilla Bean with chocolate syrup...and cherries. Lots of cherries!" I say enthusiastically.
She chuckles. "Alright, come on" She motions for me to come to her and I do. She wraps her arm around my shoulders and we go downstairs, all the while pep talking me, telling me I can face him when I feel like I can't. I'm trying to be understanding, I really am. It's just going to be really hard. Probably even harder than I imagine it be.
