I hate driving hours and hours to get where I need to be to promote this project. I'm not even touring but I'm always on the road. Seven months pregnant and I would almost rather do anything else than be stuck in a car for the bulk of the day. Lindsey suddenly couldn't go with me for my Jay Leno performance and while I found that kind of weird, I didn't pressure him to come. Karen assured me it would be fun to have some girl time and we could even squeeze in a shopping trip so I'm game. That doesn't mean I won't miss him though.
Karen and I have been talking about how everything is coming together at home. The only sticking point with Lindsey and I recently is trying to decide where we want to have this baby. I've tried to convince him we should try a home birth but he doesn't seem on board. I've been splitting my visits between an OB in LA and a great local midwife team where we live. I really love the energy of the ladies who come to my house for visits, stay for tea and just chat like we are old friends. I make it a point to complain every time we go to see the OB (though I really don't mind) so he will let me have my way but I have been unsuccessful so far. My midwives Blythe, Delia and Sage all assure me that I would handle a home birth really well and they have even tried to include Lindsey in the discussion. There is a Doctor they work very closely with that would be able to assist in any real medical emergency and the hospital isn't as far away as you'd think, especially by ambulance.
Our road is now paved with beautiful stones rather than being dirt as it was months before, our street sign is up and we are registered with USPS so we can finally receive mail. It looks really impressive now! Lori and Chris's house is finished and it's gorgeous, my parents' house is done on the outside and coming right along on the inside. I'm nervous it won't be done by the time the baby comes but Lindsey swears it will be. Lori and Chris live in Arizona currently and since she is due so close to me, they won't be moving out here until after their little girl is here. I hear my sweet niece is so excited about being a big sister.
I am a bundle of nerves knowing that in less than 24 hours, I will be performing on a television show very visibly pregnant. I'm sure I will get lots of questions that I'm not really sure how to answer, considering I'm just there to perform and not for an interview. There will not be a lot of twirling but I hope to give my very best performance. Karen has been a great distraction though in keeping my mind off the performance and more on things we want to do while in LA, if I'm up to it. I've gotten such a burst of energy lately and I'm so thankful. I would not be able to get everything wrapped up before she comes if I hadn't.
We arrive at my house and begin to unpack. We had lunch and watched movies. It was so nice to lay in my big bed and stretch out. Still I missed Lindsey. I was worried he would be busy when I called but the worst that could happen was that he wouldn't answer. I roll over and pick up my phone, dialing our house up north. I waited and waited and waited then our answering machine picked up. I left a sweet little message for him then hung up. I knew it was possible he wouldn't answer but I was still a little disappointed. I checked my machine here all day long and through the night, thinking I missed a call from him but he never called me back.
I woke up with tears staining my cheeks. I got up and splashed water on my face, took a shower, and blow dried my very long hair. It took forever. Finally I got dressed, finished my makeup and Karen put my coffee in my travel cup so we could hit the road.
"Did Lindsey call while I was sleeping?" I asked, staring at her expectantly.
"No" she said, shaking her head. "I'm sorry honey"
"It's okay. I'm sure he's just caught up at home. He promised he would call before I performed"
"Don't work yourself up. He has a lot to do before the baby comes. Maybe he's getting the house ready"
"Yeah, probably" I say, not convinced.
"I can call him when we get back, if he hasn't called you by then, okay?"
I just nod, staring out the window. When we arrive, Jay greets me himself and we talk about light hearted things, which is a big mood booster for me. Baby girl is going absolutely crazy and I do my best to breathe and calm her. I take my place on stage and they signal they are rolling. The music starts and I'm starting to feel more comfortable.
"No one looked as I walked by, just an invitation would have been just fine. Said no to him again and again, first he took my heart then he ran. No one knows how I feel, what I mean unless you read between my lines. One man walked away from me first he took my hand, he said take me..."
All the nerves I had, faded quickly and I was having so much fun! When we were finished, Jay came to see me.
"That was Stevie Nicks!" he says. He chats to me a minute about my marriage to Lindsey and asks how we are doing. He asks if he's here with me I avoid the question like the plague, simply talking over him and rambling on about my project, how I had to squeeze everything in before my box set came out. He didn't seem phased at all and I was very happy about that.
"A little bird told me there's something different about you, congratulations!"
"Thank you! We are so very excited!"
"How are you feeling?"
"I'm feeling so good, lots of energy"
"I saw that! What a performance! You look beautiful!" He says, taking my hand briefly.
"Thank you"
"The Enchanted Works of Stevie Nicks Box Set came out on April 28th, pick yours up today! Thank you for watching, good night!"
We wave and they cut. I look to Karen and mouth 'Did he call?' and she shakes her head. I'm both frustrated and hurt by this but I shake it off. Jay puts his hand on the small of my back and leads me over to his band and we talk with Kevin. I'm invited to come again after the baby is born just to hang out on the show or whatever I want and I agree to, when the time is right. He's happy with that answer so after a little more conversation, Karen and I leave to go out to lunch.
----
The next day:
"Do you think I'm overreacting?" I ask her, sitting at my counter and picking little pieces of crust off my sandwich with my finger nails.
"No, he said he would call and he hasn't. You tried calling and even left a message and he didn't even call you back"
"Should I call him again or leave him alone?" There is a sadness in my voice and I can't shake the feeling that something is going on. She doesn't answer me, listening to a voicemail. "Was that Lindsey?"
"No, um...it was one of my friends at The National Enquirer. Apparently Lindsey has been spotted in town this week...with another woman."
"Everyone knows that magazine prints garbage" I say, not letting myself believe that.
"There are pictures, Stevie. Lots of them." The moment the words leave her mouth, tears spring to my eyes.
"No, no. It can't be..."
"Do you want me to see if we can look at them?"
"No. I don't want to know. I really don't want to know" I get down from the stool and go upstairs, shutting myself in my room. I honestly don't know what to think. He tells me he can't come with me and support me during my performance but he can come to town behind my back and be seen with another woman? My heart is breaking right in two but I try to talk myself out of my pain. Maybe it wasn't Lindsey. Maybe it was a lie. Maybe they're old pictures and someone is just trying to cause drama since we went public with our marriage and our baby news. I stop myself in my thoughts. Our baby. How could he allow this to happen when we have a baby coming in less than 2 months? I can't sort out my emotions at all. I need someone to comfort me but the one person I can always go to, to make me feel better is the one who made me feel so horrible and torn up inside.
A/N: End of mass update. This is my apology to you. Please vote and comment on the parts to let me know what you think! I really need a pick me up you guys, I feel horrible! This was the chapter that I published on accident, and it caused all the confusion when I took it down. Thank you for your support. I love you guys 💗💗 My updates will be a little slower now as I have to build up my chapter stash again. - Ericka
