Once inside the cabin, I am even more stunned by its beauty. It was pretty big on the outside but when I look around, it's huge! I'm honestly so shocked. There are quite a few bedrooms and the great room is truly spectacular. It's a mansion in the middle of the woods. Our own little piece of heaven. He guides me around, showing me everything then takes me to the master bedroom. The view is something one could only dream of. You can see for miles and miles from the balcony. It's decorated in a rustic country kind of way and though it doesn't seem like either of our tastes, it really works here. I can see he's tried to put my touches up, here and there. His work is astounding. He has things in the bathroom set up for me, all the things I use. He has clothes for me and for himself, fluffy, soft, cozy white bedding.
"Wow, you've really outdone yourself"
"You're not just saying that?"
"This place is a dream"
"I have something for you." He hands me a box and I give him a look. "It's not at all what you think"
"Alright" I open it, wincing at what I may find inside. "A key" I say.
"Yes, for you. To this house. I want you to feel welcome here. I built this place for us. When you need to get away, no matter what happens with us, this is your home too."
"No matter what"
"I will always protect you. Come here when you need a place to be yourself without others looking at you with expectations. Come here when you want privacy but want to feel at home. Come here when I'm on the road and you miss me, if you ever do. Come here whenever you want. Even if it's for an hour, a day, a weekend...whenever."
"And you'll be here too?"
"If you want me to be, of course"
"Oh, Lindsey!" I hug him so tightly he can barely breathe. I kiss him like crazy and he pushes me to the bed.
We make love for hours and it's getting dark outside. He turns on the dim lights outside and the forest looks so magical.
"Wow" I say to myself, wrapped in a blanket from the bed to protect my body from the chilly night air.
"Are you hungry?" He asks me, wrapping his arms around me. I nod. "I don't have a lot of food right now, but I'm sure we can find something. Next time I promise it will be fully stocked. You will never go hungry" I toss a night gown over my naked body and twist my hair into a braid to keep it from tangling. We head to the kitchen and we have cereal, one of the very few things in the house. He wasn't kidding when he said there wasn't much. I was truly shocked the milk in the fridge was still in date. Tomorrow we would worry about going to the store but for now, it was just he and I. He takes out a box from seemingly nowhere and he has a devious little smile on his face. He pulls out a joint and lights it, offering it to me. I take a drag and I feel even more relaxed than I was.
"I love you, angel" I say, kissing him softly.
"I love you too, baby"
"I wish we could stay here forever"
"Maybe after tour we can come back for Christmas. We could invite everybody out and do it big like you like. The great room has tall ceilings so you could get a grand tree, a real one, and everyone could decorate it with us."
"And we could come back every year, make it a tradition. Oh, it sounds like a dream"
"It could be a reality. We've been making our dreams a reality for years. Why not this one?" He sounds hopeful and it makes me feel the same. He brings me a cardigan from the closet when he see me shiver and I button it up half way, wrapping the knit belt around myself and tying it up. Slippers are by the sofa for me and he starts a fire for us. This really is bliss. We sit and talk as he strokes my legs, massages my feet and does anything he can to see me smile or hear me laugh. When we finish our joint we head back to bed.
The next day, the sun flows in through our big windows in the bedroom and we shower, put on some warm clothes and go to the grocery store that is pretty far from where we are. I begin to pretend we live here. Maybe years ago we could have. Maybe I could have been a school teacher and we would have scrimped and saved to build a house like this, maybe even just a little one. We could have raised a family here- our daughter running down the stairs on Christmas morning, rattling the boxes under the giant tree decorated by her father and I, along with grandma and grandpa, cousins and anyone who wanted to come up to the house. Maybe Lindsey would play his guitar and we would sing Christmas carols and my mama and I would cook a feast while the men watched football and yelled at the tv. We would watch the rare light dusting of snow fall out the windows from our bed, a fire crackling in the background. I realize I have a tear falling down my cheek and Lindsey kisses it away. It's just a silly dream now and I know it will never come true. So many missed opportunities.
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Tour has begun and is in full swing and my nerves are creeping back up again. I feel at ease with Lindsey but can't help the feeling that people are staring or noticing the way we are with each other. I dream of keeping us quiet and private. We have always said that we are perfect alone, it's when other people get involved that it's hell. I want to protect us from all of that. We steal away to that cabin every chance we get. We live our little dream the best we can but oh, it's hard. At night, when we sneak into each other's hotel rooms, we talk about running away. We say we will go to our piece of heaven in the woods and never look back. We will try for a baby, or adopt, and I can have a million dogs if I want. We will cook dinner together and watch movies, we can make love all night and sleep all day...but then we fall back to reality. Yes, of course, we are grateful for all that fame and fortune has given us, especially that beautiful cabin, but we will always wonder what if?
A/N: Wanton Luxury?
