Begin Again

June 21st pa rin

Di ba mag re-resign ka na Feny? Di ba ?

Yes Feny, keep convincing yourself .

Siguro dahil na pagod na ko sa kakatunganga sa kanya. I finally decided—my mouth decided to say something.

Wait–hindi ako maka hinga! No! Hindi ito joke! I'm choking! Help!

"Fen! Jesus what's happening to you ?!" Lumapit siya sa'kin at hinila ako palapit sa kanya na mas lalong nagpakaba sa'kin . Hindi pa siya nakuntento hinimas-himas niya ang likod ko. Jusmeo.

"Wat–wat–ter! " sabay himas sa tuyo kong lalamunan. It's a matter of life and death! Ano ba ito?!

He was so quick to run to his table and get the half glass of water he has. Wait! Time first—but before I can say something he made me drink it and patted gently my back.  He also removed the hair that blocks near on my mouth.

Finally I managed to breath again. I tried to tidy myself. From my hair na halos makain ko na. To my clothes na nagusot ng konti. And to my feelings. Thanks to the water. Erhm... I don't want to think about it anymore.

I felt heat on the both side of my face . Blush? Nah. But it's not the time to be flush Feny! Subukan mo kayang tanggalin yung pagkaka hawak mo sa braso ng boss mo?

Dahil sa taranta ko nabitawan ko yata ang bouquet kaya pinulot ko ito at triny na ayusin. Naku.

Umatras ako mula sa kinaroroonan ko at muling inayos ito.

Naku! Si sir!

Nakatingin na siya sa akin nang nag-angat ako ng ulo. Bakas pa rin ang pag-aalala niya sa kanya mga mata. Or so I thought. Did I saw it correctly? Did he just smirked ?  Sa harapan ko? Well you can't  blame me , minsan ko lang makita ang boss ko na umunat ang labi niyan! Aside sa pagsasalita.

I blinked a few times dahil baka  napikit lang ako at guni-guni ko lamang iyon. Pero hindi eh. Sa nakikita ko ngayon hindi lang smirk. Nakita ko ang mga mapuputi at pantay-pantay na ngipin niya ! He's smiling!

Hindi ko rin napansin na napa-smile na rin ako.

"Your life is in danger awhile ago but when you recovered, you look so worried more for your flowers ? Unbelievable ." I tried to catch  my breath from hearing those words from him.

Oh sir. You're making my last day even more so memorable—oh my God.

"S-sir, thank you for this beautiful flowers . And also–"

"Clear my schedule for today Fen.." Ay teka hindi pwede – "..no buts, we're taking our day off today . You may get your things first then wait for me at the elevator . We'll walk down together," narinig niya iyon? Or did I say it out loud ?

"Yes sir," wala rin namang saysay makipag diskusyon sa kanya kaya lumakad na ko papuntang pintuan.

"Oh and Fen," I stopped and faced him ".. Don't bother to call the people for the cancellations , I already did. Just clear it on your list. Then let's try to squeeze it for the tomorrow's scheds .." I nodded like a good servant and made myself out on his office .

As I closed his door. Inilabas ko ang hangin na naipun ata sa dibdib ko habang magkausap kami.

Nakarating na ko lahat-lahat sa table ko pero parang lutang pa rin ako sa mabilis na pangyayari kanina.

"..no buts, we're taking our day off today . You may get your things first then wait for me at the elevator . We'll walk down together,"

Did he just say  'we' ? Saan naman kaya kami pupunta?

Bago pa ko maabutan ni sir ay nagligpit na ko ng gamit  . I even freshen up myself dahil mukha akong bangkay, mukang nasama sa pagka drained ng energy ko ang makeup ko kaya naglagay ako ng kaunti. I brushed also my hair dahil parang sumabog ito. Tumingin ako sa mini clock ko na minion sa tabi ng computer screen ko. Huh. 10:12am . Record breaking ito,ito ang pinaka maagang labas ko . I can't help but feel giddy . Taena Feny!

Now I feel alive and look like alive. I turned off the computer and the switch off all the things that can be turn off. Pati kuko ko sa paa patay na rin. Ata. Ikaw ba naman makipag unahan sa mga sasakay sa bus e.

Napatayo ako bigla nung bumukas ang pintuan ni Mister Martè. I grabbed my bag and hurried myself papuntang elevator. Nauna akong pumasok at inantay na makapasok na rin siya. Now we're already settled in. Nasa likuran ko siya banda. Ang tahimik. I busied myself fidgeting my finger and look down. Parang konting ingay lang magugulat ka na lang bigla sa sobrang awkward at tahimik.

When we finally reached it to the main lobby I finally let out the air that I've been suppressing inside of my body. Magandang kasama si sir manuod ng thriller at horror movies.

"Are you okay Fen? " napabaling ako sa kanya mula sa pagkakatitig sa sahig.

"I'm fine Mister Martè," 'wag mo lang akong kausapin sir at magiging okay ako. But I think it can wait dahil sa mga sumunod na pangyayari.

The valet man gave his keys as we got outside of the building. He nodded and went first to the passenger door—which beside of the drivers sit—he opened the door  and waited for me to get inside . Gusto ko pa sana tumunganga sa gestures niya kaya lang baka ma-bad trip kaya binilisan ko at umupo agad. When he closed the door sinundan ko pa siya ng tingin hanggang makapasok na rin siya. He swiftly put his seatbelts on and started the car.

He gave me a questioning look and gaze somewhere . To my body to be specific. I suddenly felt unease . I had this suddenly urge to cover myself like putting my left arm above my chest. And then I realise I don't have my seatbelts on!

Kaya nagmadali akong kunin ito at dahil ang galing ko. Hindi ko pa mahila ito. I removed my attention to him and tried to put all my strength on this damn seatbelts !

I earned a chuckled from my boss kaya mas lalo akong na-tense! Leche!

"Let me Fen.." but before I could even react his already leaning to me. He removed my trembling hands from destroying the innocent seatbelt.

His hot—okay warm. His warm breath that touches my left ear makes my tummy feel uncontrollably . Na para bang may kumi-kiliti paakyat sa batok ko— and don't ask me about our touching arms! My hearts even agreed on what's my tummy felt . I think I'm having a panick attack? What is this? Why my heart suddenly wants to be out of my chest? I closed my eyes in no particular reason.

Click !

I open my eyes and check the surroundings. We're still in front of the building. I'm still alive. My sudden heaviness of breathing became normal also. I think I'm good now. I carefully acted like nothing happened . Like nothing's bothering me. I don't know if how long this silence will take so I faced him and thanked him .

He just gave me a small smile and he started to drive.

Again, I'm good for now . I hope so.