Begin Again

June 24th 2015

Dear me, what is more awkward than when your boss is giving you weird gestures and looks, acting like a teenager stealing glances at his crush? Hindi naman provocative ang suot ko—green halter top, white hooded jacket, blue jeans, and white rubber shoes. I look normal, right?

We've been on the road for three hours. Kung hindi ko napansin na going south ang daan, hindi ko malalaman na Tagaytay pala ang destination namin. And we weren't even talking properly! Lagi na lang namamatay ang usapan, at ako pa ang laging nagsisimula.

We parked at a Boutique and Breakfast in Bed. Ang ganda ng theme! Parang sala na may glass doors. At doon ko narealize—I was wearing the same colors as the green and white curtains! Pasimple kong niyakap ang jacket ko to cover what's inside. Perfect spot for couples, pero heto kami, boss at secretary.

When we settled, Philip ordered Filipino food. Sabi niya, may kikitain siya. Maya-maya, dumating si Mister Dexter Tiu, ang may-ari. Akala niya asawa ako ni Philip, "You must be Mrs. Martè..."

"Ah, I'm his secretary, Mister—"

"Mister Tiu, she's Fen Magdua," mabilis na pagtatama ni Philip, habang ramdam ko ang kamay niya sa likuran ko. "I brought her here to accompany your wife while we do the transactions."

Pagkatapos kumain, lumipat kami ng asawa ni Dexter na si Happy sa labas. We chatted about business and life. Then, she asked the question: "Hindi ka ba nagkakagusto diyan sa boss mo, Feny?"

"H-hindi naman po, sus—yung sungit niyang yan?" tawa namin pareho.

But Happy gave me an alien perspective: "You know Feny... may I just say how he's so caring for you. The way he glances at you every time he talks to my husband... it's like no matter how busy he is, he always has time to take care of you."

I was deep in thought, facing the Tagaytay sunset, when I felt warm, rough palms on my shoulders. I wanted to jerk away, but a part of me said, just let it happen. He moved his hands to my forearms, rubbing them. I felt so relaxed.

"You still want to stay here? We can book two rooms," he offered.

"Ayos lang ba sa'yo na umuwi na lang tayo?" I asked, feeling guilty because he might be tired.

He gently tucked my loose hair behind my ear. His eyes were heavy, soft, and he was smiling. I felt bold. "Ikaw, sir ha? Kikiligin na ba ko dapat?" hampas ko sa dibdib niya habang tumatawa.

He smirked. "If you must... then yes."

Statue na ako sa kinatatayuan ko.

On the way back, huminto kami sa SLEX for dinner. Hindi na niya ako pinapili ng order para hindi pasta. Paglabas ng ladies' room, bumili ako ng fries.

"Fen? What are you eating?"

"Oh, gusto mo? Fries," alok ko. He didn't budge at first, but then he said, "I want one... Feed me, Fen."

Fries monster! Pinakain ko siya hanggang sa naubos niya lahat. Nang uminom siya at may sumobrang tubig, sa sobrang lapit, daliri ko na lang ang ginamit ko para punasan iyon. He looked shocked, but I acted like it was normal.

Pagdating sa tapat ng bahay ko, he stopped the car. I was ready to leave, but he grabbed my arm. We stared at each other for minutes. Suddenly, he leaned in.

I closed my eyes.

He kissed my forehead. Matagal, malalim. Ramdam ko ang pagpigil niya sa sarili niya. Nang imulat ko ang mga mata ko, naroon pa rin ang mga labi niya. I absentmindedly placed my hands on his chest, which seemed to wake him up.

Lumunok ako, tuyong-tuyo ang lalamunan ko. He didn't move an inch away, just kept his eyes level with mine.

"Good night, Fen..."

Dear me, anong nangyayari? Is this finally happening?