MCSM: A Rather Ridiculously Ravishing and Romantic Anthology

Act XIII: Jesse (F)

"I can't… *sniffle *sniffle believe what he just… *sniffle said just now… I really thought that he… that he… *gulps, then breaks down and starts crying heavily WHY………?!" cried a broken Jesse, she was deeply saddened by Lukas' un-deliberated actions. She knew he was really sad deep inside, and that he was trying to mask this by being angry and irate. But she was still saddened, and her head lay against her brother's shoulder whilst having his arm slung around her. He was trying to console his sobbing sister.

"Ssh… Ssh… It's okay… Lukas didn't mean it… He was just… confused is all. Please stop crying… It's okay…" were some of the supposedly comforting words Jesse used to try and comfort her, but to no avail nor extent did either of it matter. "I just… I just want… I just want him back to me, that's all. And *light sniffle maybe… I'll be happy again. But thank you guys, for trying to bring him back. Now I know he's… *with a very broken voice never gonna want to see me again. I'll never be happy again… *light sob" Her words seemed like drivel to the others (but the thank you was an exception of course) and Jesse was first to respond.

"What?! Nonsense! You've seen the fear in his eyes, he was totally afraid of losing you forever! He wanted you back as much as you did, he loved you and still does now. He was mad at you because he was afraid, lots of people do that to mask their fear, and Lukas is no exception! He's loved you before, he loves you now, and he'll love you forever!" The last line stopped her eyes from expelling any more glass tears, and she looked up and tightly clutched her brother. You're, you're right. Thanks, that really helped me.

Jesse, in a raspy voice, groaned "Did it? Ouch, your nails are sharp!" She released her grip on him, and in a less exasperated voice, he continued. "Look. I'm really sorry that I attacked him. I was angry, infuriated, and I had to take it out on him because he didn't appreciate what we've done to try and get him back. But I know he was, he would've wanted you to get him back, and he really loves that you did-" Then in a breaking voice, he halted, then said "Oh damn! This burden you're suffering, your sorrow, is because of me. If I hadn't snapped and turned hostile and haywire, he'd probably be here right now, holding and comforting you. But I did this. I- I ruined the chances for you two- I broke you- I separated you. My gosh. I'm so sorry- I'm so sorry. I'm-" Before he could say sorry again, he had slid down a tree trunk and landed on the ground, he then curled up and stayed silent, saying to himself, Oh sis could you ever forgive me? Your pain, I feel in me. You'll probably never be happy again, and all because I snapped, lost all control, seized the chance at the worst moment. Please I beseech you!

The girls noticed that he was crying. Petra stepped forward and said "Maybe I should-" but was abruptly halted by Jesse's outstretched arm, she then said "No, I should. He's my brother, he tried to get me back with Lukas, he cares for me. His unending love and care for me is overwhelming, and I must show that I appreciate it." Petra nodded, and Jesse advanced towards his weeping brother. Jesse rebuked her advances, "Stay away from me, please. I'll only make you more miserable than you already are." She tried to look passive and said "Hey, don't talk like that. I just want to talk, nothing else, okay?" Jesse looked up from his arms, and gave her the 'okay fine' look. She sat beside him on the same tree and thought before talking. After a moment of staring at a broken brother, Jesse began.

"You didn't separate us, I still feel as close to him as I'll ever be. This isn't your fault, he was right, I should've tried sooner, but I was too weak. Then you agreed to help me, and I appreciate and love you for that. But you can't just blame yourself for upsetting other people, it'll ruin you." Jesse looked up at her worried face, then weakly replied "Blame myself? Hmph. What do you know about upsetting other people? You don't even have the looks…" She continually looked at him, she thought, before saying "Perhaps you forgot that I did upset him several times. For instance, I remorselessly kicked him out the shelter, and I was angry when he'd ditch the group to find his real friends. I've been regretting my actions ever since, treating it like real bad karma, seeing it as why I could never be closer to him than ever." Jesse stared at her, and nodded blankly, "Yeah I guess…"

"All I'm gonna say is, you've got to stop blaming other people's misery on just yourself, you cannot live like that. Believe me, I know." she said. Jesse thought, then said "Thank you, that really helped me. You're right, this shouldn't be how it goes. And while we sit here, trying to console me, Lukas is still waiting for you, but he's losing it, and he's grown desperate." He got up, and gathering his belongings after he had angrily dumped them on the ground, said "Well come on then! We've got to get you back to him!"

I know I must continue to try and get Lukas back. I know he's out there, certainly dying to see me again. I know he wants me, and that I want him. But he's mad at me, I hope things will work out between us in the future…