Muke One Shots || BoyxBoy

Just a Little Bit of Your Heart

Michael

I wish when growing up there's someone there to teach and guide you through your life, like they tell you who you should and should not fall in love with. It would save a lot of people from getting their heart broken and hopes up just to see it come crashing down before their eyes. If time travel was possible I'm sure my future self would have come back by now to slap me upside the head for the countless nights I've spent obsessing over someone who I believed would feel the same towards me but I was clearly delusional, but we tend to live in a state of delusion.

Sometimes I also wish I was straight, if I was do you know how many of my problems would be solved? Well first of all I would never have any hate towards me and I would live a pretty peaceful life. I know that's a horrible thing to think but if I could change it I would take that opportunity so fast. If I was straight there would never be an instance where I would fall for someone that would never feel the same and I wouldn't fall for someone who only thinks of me as a "good friend."

Oh, also, if I were straight I would be able to fucking date someone and not have management all over me like flies on shit. After being in the band 5 Seconds of Summer for about 4 years now yes everyone knows I am gay and everyone is okay with it and the fans were so supportive but with that being said I am not allowed to date a guy because it would "give us an image that we are not ready for, yes it's one thing that everyone knows but once they see it it's a totally different story." What does that even mean?

It also probably wouldn't "help our image" if they found out that Luke and I have been secretly together for the past 7 months. When I say secret I mean secret. Calum and Ashton don't even know about our relationship, if that's what you can even call it.

We sneak around at night when everyone is asleep so that we can have sex or sometimes we just lie together and cuddle, we try and find any little excuse to touch each other. We would be at an interview and our legs would be touch, we would be on stage and we'd gravitate towards one another and the fans think it's innocent fun between friends but that would be out contact for the night and it would make us happy. I think it does more for me than it does for him.

What really bothers me is when there is people around he ignores me and acts like we are just friends, not even close friends. He treats me like one of the boys and I won't lie it does hurt me when he does that but I am so in love with him I don't even care. Plus I know that we can't go public with our relationship.

"Hey Michael, we're all getting some ice cream you want in?" Ashton asked popping his head into the little cot I have on our tour bus breaking my train of thought.

"Of course," I say getting out and slipping on my vans following behind everyone. We were already parked in front of this ice cream shop so we walked directly into it from our bus and there were a few people in there who of course recognized us so we had to take some pics and sign some things and be nice. I always enjoyed the interactions with the fans, it made me feel special and it was exciting to see a group of people get excited to talk to you. After that we finally got to go in and get our ice cream and took a seat at a booth away from the majority of the people.

"I can't believe we only have about 4 more shows left on our second tour," Calum exclaimed happily as he licked his ice cream cone.

"I know, it's insane," Luke said with a smile as he rubbed his foot agains mine, a signal that he wanted to play footsies to which of course I obliged. Trying to keep my huge smile at bay I put a huge spoonful of rocky road ice cream in my mouth as we continued to playfully kick each other under the table with the other two boys not having any idea what we were doing. We sat in the booth till we were all finished with our ice cream and headed back onto the bus for a long trip to our next show, which was in the next state next to the one we were on now so we had just decided to drive there.