Moving Forward

Part 83

Jennifer Jareau's POV

We're in the car, in the direction of Penelope's place to drop Oliver there, so he could spend some time with Auntie Penelope and Auntie Carolyn. Plus, I heard Derek and Savannah would come and that later everyone would be there for dinner. Of course, we accepted the invitation! It will also be good for Emily. Penelope talked to me about paying a tribute to Aaron. I told her it was a great idea, but I will discuss with Emily before to make sure it's not too soon for her.

Once we're at Penelope's, Spence unties Oliver and brings him to Penelope.

"Why Oliver is going with Auntie Pen'lop?" Hope asks.

"Why we can't go?" Jaeden adds.

"Because you two are going to battle the monsters, remember? You will see Samantha and Lucas and Mathias and everyone!" I answer them, talking about the other kids at the hospital.

Emily is next to me, rubbing her belly, looking through the window. She hasn't made any eye contact with anyone since she got out of the house. It's the first time since Aaron's death. Plus, it'll be the first time she goes to the hospital since. But I swore to her that we won't be there for a long time.

Spence gets back in the car and I drive to the hospital. Once at the hospital, we get out of the car. Spence unties Jaeden and I untie Hope. I ask them to hold hands because we're in a parking lot. We enter and we walk to the pediatric floor, then we go to the oncology aisle. I ask Emily to stay with the kids and Spence while I'm going to check something. She nods. I tell the kids that I'll be right back and I walk to the elevator to go to our family doctor's office. I set an appointment with him a few days ago to check on my pregnancy. Once in front of the door, I knock.

"Come in!" The doctor declares.

I enter. Seeing me, the doctor gets up to shake my hand.

"Mrs. Jareau! How are you?"

"I'm great, thank you!"

As he sits back behind his desk, I sit in front of him.

"How are the kids? Does the chemo work well?"

"They are fine and the grow fast! I think the chemo helps them, but Hope gets often sick after a session and is pretty tired compared to her brother."

"Yeah, she had always been a little bit weaker than her brother. So, you were very brief on the phone. What is this appointment for?"

"I was feeling very nauseous these last weeks and I started gaining weight. At first, I thought it was because of my injury and the medicine I was taking and also because I had stopped working out. I hadn't thought about a pregnancy before last week, so I did a pregnancy test and it turned out positive."

"Congratulation!"

"Thank you!"

"You want to check that, don't you?"

"Yeah, that's why I came!"

"Just lay down on the bed and pull up your t-shirt, please."

I get up and do what he asks me to do while he puts on some gloves. He then puts some gel on my belly and I shiver a little bit as I feel the coldness of the gel. The doctor passes the probe over my middle, applying a bit of pressure. I look at him and he seems annoyed by something. He continues to search for the presence of a fetus. I start to believe that I'm not pregnant or that I had a miscarriage without knowing it. But I finally hear it: fast little heartbeats. The doctor seems as relieved as me.

"Well, I can see that you're almost 6 weeks pregnant!"

He wipes the gel away from my belly and I pull down my t-shirt. Then the doctor helps me to get down the bed.

"So, I will call you later to set an appointment around your twelveth or thirteenth weeks for the first ultrasound and everything."

I shake his hand again and I walk back to the oncology aisle of the pediatric floor. Once there, I make wave Emily that it's time. I told her we would go to the BAU to pick up Aaron's stuff in his office. She begged me to come with her so I accepted, but I told her I had some stuff to adjust first, so she'd be alone the first 20 to 30 minutes. She said it was okay, but if there was anything she would come to me.

We're back in the car, on our way to the BAU. It's about fifteen minutes from the hospital, but as I don't like uncomfortable silence, I decide to turn on the radio. Once at the BAU, we both get out the car and I walk to Aaron's office with Emily. Just to be sure she is able to make it up to it.

We are very close to the door. Suddenly, Emily grabs my hand tight. I turn to her, she seems panicked and starts to breathe heavily. I think she's having a panic attack. I look her right in the eyes.

"Emily. It's okay. I'm right here. Just breathe. It's gonna be alright. You almost did it. Take deep breaths. Focus on your breath."

She closes her eyes and starts doing a breathing exercise. When she opens her eyes, she's calmed down.

"Are you ready to get in?"

She nods and we enter his office, holding each other hands. His office is as clean as the last time someone entered. On his desk, there are pictures of Emily, Oliver and him. On the walls, there are pictures too, but also drawings made by Oliver. Aaron really loved his family.

I turn to Emily and I see that she doesn't seem there anymore. I walk toward her and I put my hand on her shoulder.

"It's gonna be okay, Emily."

She looks up at me and I see a lonely tear falling down. It's the first time since her fiancé has been unplugged that she cries. She seems relieved.

"Thank you, Jennifer."