Bad Guy Gone Good (BOYXBOY)

One Second

Chapter 15: One Second

It wasn't the weather that was making us cold, it was simply the fact that we had been here for so long, just sitting and not moving that made it so cold. He was talking and I was listening. I liked it that way. I liked watching him as he spoke. How his face reacted with the different things he was saying. I could tell he tried to talk about the good things, but there weren't many.

"My mom and I we talked together once. But that's a long time ago, I can barely remember it. There were some periods where things were good, where he wasn't there, either somewhere passed out drunk on a bench or just somewhere outside. I didn't worry much, he would always find a way home, unfortunately. But those moments where he wasn't home it was nice. Just me, Elijah and mom. Elijah had a hard time dealing with our father, so he enjoyed it too when he wasn't home, mother on the other hand... well, we always did something fun, but my mom was hard to crack. She worried a lot about my father. She loved him once. Anyway, one of the few times where there was no chaos, or drama, I remember, Eli, mom and I, we were sitting in the living room, eating takeout Thai food. There was no tension, it was quiet, and suddenly, Elijah asked if we wanted to watch a movie. I was surprised, and I could tell mom was as well. And the reason being, that we hadn't watched a movie in ages! We could barely remember the last time we sat down, together, just chilling and watching a movie, so of course both mom and I said yes. We were excited to simply watch a movie. Excited?" His face somehow relaxed, he wasn't as tense as when he was talking. He sighed, then chuckled closing his eyes for a second. "We watched... my mom made us watch "Burlesque", worst part is... I loved it, and so did Elijah no matter how much he denies it. I could see him shedding a tear" he smiled. "We were happy then, as we were watching the movie, we had no worries. We had each other." But it wasn't long before his smile faded. His eyes became darker and he continued, "then my father showed up. He completely ruined our moment, our short-lasting happiness, with no worry. He just showed up and started yelling at us, that's what pisses me off so much, how easy it could've been for him just to not make a scene and not act like a complete douche, but no. He couldn't hold it in, the stupidity" he groaned in anger. "I just wish... he had died sooner." His eyes widened. He looked up at me, "is that a horrible thing to say?" He asked.

"Yes, but so what, it's not like you owe him shit, the least of all respect. Alec, I'm so sorry you went through all that, you don't deserve it" I took his hands in mine and tightened my grip around his fingers, gently, then I took one of my hands and placed them on his cheek, pulling him closer to me. I closed my eyes and placed a slow soft kiss on his lips. He deepened the kiss and stopped briefly to take a deep breath. He placed his lips one last time and then backed away. He looked at me. I hated that there was nothing that I could do or say to make it all go away.

"It felt good to get it all out, I have never told that much to anyone. I'm glad I told you. Alex, I-I... words can't describe how happy I am, when I'm with you." He looked up at me, blushing. As he said those words it felt like my heart was too heavy to bear, I was so happy to hear that from him, he meant so much to me.

I smiled, "thank you for saying that, that means a lot to me. You mean a lot to me." I looked at him, he looked down a worried look showing on his face. "So, Alec, where are you at now? with your mom, and Elijah. How's everything after your dad passed?" I asked. Suddenly it wasn't the past I feared would trouble him, it was the present, and the future. 

He sighed, looking up at me. "My mom hasn't been herself since the death of him. She went into a severe shock-state. She was numb everywhere but began regaining some feeling in her upper body, her legs remain numb though. So she's in a wheelchair now, she works from her office at home, she locks herself into her room and just work all day. Barely eats anything, has been like that for almost two years. It bothers me that she's like that. I hate it. Why is she so sad about him dying, he never did any good for our family, yet she beats herself up over it. She shouldn't be depressed, she should be happy he's gone. I thought after he passed away that our family would be whole again, that things would get better. That was not the case, I went through a really bad time, but not because of the death of my father, but because of the aftermath. Of what he caused by dying, what he left behind. A broken family. He broke us apart. If only my mom would speak, everything would be better. Elijah has been in his own world after dad passed away. Didn't talk to no one, didn't seem like he needed to though, it felt like nothing fazed him. Not even what happened to mother. I thought we'd be there for each other when our parents weren't. But he left me, just like the rest of them did. I felt so alone. I was shattered into a million pieces with no one to pick me up. That was until I met Julian. He helped me so much. More than I can even imagine. He made me realise that I didn't need anyone, he made me see the amount of strength I could have. He is-was the only person I had." He stopped, he looked at me and away again, his eyes wide.

Something was off when he mentioned Julian. But I couldn't concentrate on my doubts right now, I had to be there for Alec. So I shook my worry away and continued listening.

"Now, I have you too. And I just hope that I can help you the way Julian helped me." he mumbled, barely audible. "Speaking of which, what about you? I've told you the biggest part of my life, but I remain in the dark about you." He smiled genuinely 

My heart sunk, the mere memory of her, her face showing up in my mind. I wanted to cry. It had been so long, yet I couldn't forget. I didn't know if I was ready to tell him yet. But something inside me wanted to let him know, he wasn't alone. 

"I-I lost someone too" A lump formed in my throat making it impossible for me to continue without tearing up. I gulped, my heart sped up. Would he blame me? Like the rest of my family did. Like I did. He placed his soft hand on mine, gently, like a feather. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "M-my sister." I couldn't. The tears rolled down, one after another. I could tell my eyes were red, it stung. I looked up trying to stop the crying, swallowing. Come on. Stop crying. For God's sake. "I-I'm s-sorry." I sniffed, letting out a hot breath through my mouth. It was ages ago, yet I couldn't help but break down completely. I let my head fall back down, staring at my hands in my lap. They were shaking, suddenly two pairs of hands held mine tightly. I looked up to see him tearing up as well. His tears hadn't trickled down yet I could tell they would with a simple blink. He didn't let them fall though. He placed his hands on my shoulders pulling me close to him into a hug. He held around me tightly, not letting go. 

"Don't be sad" He whispered, his voice shaking. I couldn't help it. I sniffled one last time, and dried my eyes, letting go of him. 

"Okay." I said pulling myself together, I haven't cried like that in front of anyone before. Not even Julian, probably because I hadn't had to tell him about my sister, he knew from my reading my files. "I had a sister, Mary." I said trying not to break down at the mention of her name. He nodded understandingly. "She was 5 when she passed, she was so beautiful. Her golden wavy hair always tied in two ponytails close to each other. She always wore dresses, even in winter. She..." I trailed off, thinking about her, how she was. I miss her so fucking much, it hurts. "We had a strong bond. We were one big happy family. Then... She begged me to go to the park, the one with the big oak tree. She loved trees, and that was her favourite." I paused looking up at him for the first time after I began telling him about her, seeing him listening carefully. I continued, "We went there, brought a ball with us, playing, having fun, I helped her climb the tree. When she went back to playing with the ball, I asked her to kick it as hard as she could. The ball... she kicked it out of the park... it stopped on the road. She ran after it, I tried stopping her, I ran after her, but she told me it would only be a second. And that's exactly how long it took. One second. It took one second for her to get hit by a car. She lied there on the road, I ran up to her, tears blurring my vision. Her body was cold and blood was seeping out of her head. Her eyes were wide open, not moving. I broke down next to her. People gathered up around us, some dialled 911. The car that had hit her had drove off. She was gone, within the span of a second.