Bad Guy Gone Good (BOYXBOY)

(No) More Lies

Chapter 18: (No) More Lies

I shot up from my bed when I heard a knock downstairs. I heard Jax get out of his room and as I got up to stop him, I heard him opening the door. 

"Oh, hi Jax. Is Alex home?" His voice was so deep, and I wanted to punch him in the fucking face. How could he do that to me. 

"Yes, he's upstairs in his room." I heard Jax letting him in. Fuck! Fucking idiot. I heard footsteps up the stairs. The knock on my door had me flinching. 

"Alex?" His voice was steady, as if he wasn't even the slightest fazed of the situation. "Alex, I know you're there. Just let me in and everything will be better, if you just let me explain. Everything will make sense, I promise." 

He sounded so genuine, I wanted to believe him. I wanted it to work out, but I don't see how it's ever acceptable to fuck a teacher. I missed him, I wanted him so bad right now. I don't understand how I can need him so much after what he's done. 

"Just leave Alec. It's over." I said with a sigh. 

"What, just like that? I don't believe a shit you say, you can't be serious, that it's that easy for you just to throw all we have out like that" He said angrily. Now I was angry, how dare he. I slammed the door open. 

"Fuck you. Don't you fucking push it over on me, YOU are the one who fucked up! Not me. You're making me do this, and saying you love me is a fucking dick move. Don't you think it's hard for me? I fucking love you too. You're breaking my heart Alec. You fucking..." I wanted to cry, but I couldn't break down in front of him. I was angry. He looked at me with pain hidden in his eyes. He looked tired, but I didn't pity him one bit. He did this. It's his fault. He stepped towards me making me take a step back. 

"Alex. Do you really mean that? Y-you love me?" He stuttered. 

"Yes Alec. Okay, I love you. I fucking love you, but I can't even fucking look at you knowing you and Julian... I just can't deal with that, you need to leave." I tried pushing him out but he pushed back.

"Wait, Alex, wait okay, just give me one minute to explain. If you truly love me, you want to let me explain." He urged. 

"Alec, I can't right now. I can't look at you without thinking of you two together. It's disturbing." 

"Wait, okay, Alex. Please. Just a minute." He looked at me, his eyes wide. I sighed caving in. "Okay, look, I love you Alex. Yes, okay Julian and I slept together, we fucked once in his office and never again. It happened before I even met you. It's happened a long time ago. Recently it has been brought up because Julia wants you, she wants you to get better, I don't know why she's so determined. But you shouldn't trust her. Whatever happened between Julian and I, it never happened after that one time, and we are completely past it. It wasn't out of love, it was me having a bad day, I had no one, and he was the only one there. He's was the closest thing to a friend I had, and I promise you none of those feelings has ever come back. I promise. I really really love you Alex. It would break my heart if we couldn't be together. I know I should've told you earlier, and I would've. Yesterday when you told me where I went, I went to Julians place, yes. Okay, but I only ever visited him when I needed to get away from home, nothing happened in there between us. I promise. You have to believe me, baby." 

The moment he said baby, my heart fluttered. His eyes looked dead serious. I believed him, but it was still messed up. I couldn't stop staring at his lips, I wanted to touch him so bad. But something held me back.

"He should be fired, he was taking advantage of you. You were in a bad place, he should've never slept with a minor to begin with." I said angrily. I suddenly felt my hatred be turned to Julian, for touching Alec. 

"NO! No, look. Just forget it okay." He frowned. He almost looked scared. Something was off. He took a step towards me and placed his hand on my upper arm, gently sliding it down to my hand. 

"Look, don't worry about it, okay. All I need to know is that you forgive me"

"Alec, I forgive you... but are you sure that's the whole truth? No more lies after this, or I'm done. I swear-"

"Okay okay, I get it. No more secrets." He promised. He stepped closer and hugged me. I laced my arms around him and gave him a gentle squeeze, which made him flinch. I let go of him and looked at him puzzled. 

"What was that?" I asked? 

"Nothing" He mumbled and tried distracting me by kissing me. I pulled away and lifted his shirt to see a huge blue mark on the side of his torso, right above his hip. I shook my head. 

"Who did this to you?" I asked. He looked up at me worriedly, his eyes swelling in tears. 

"I walked into the desk yesterday, I'm so clumsy." 

"Alec. No more lies. You promised." I said with a serious face. 

"Please Alex... Don't make me tell you." His voice broke, his eyes screamed fear and sadness. I felt my heart break. Why was he so scared? He covered his face and fell to his knees, I kneeled down beside him, trying to uncover his face. He dropped his hands to his knees and looked up at me his strong and confident attitude disappearing and replaced with so much sadness. "I'm scared" he whispered.

"Who are you scared of? Please tell me so I can protect you." I said grabbing his hands.

"No no, Alex no please" He panicked. I've never seen him so vulnerable, but it seemed whenever Alec and I were together we were vulnerable, but never in front of anyone else. 

"Okay okay, shh baby, don't worry" I cooed. He calmed down a little and sniffled. We sat silently for a minute, me just hugging him and comforting him. Something was seriously wrong. Someone was hurting him. But who. Could it be... Julian? Maybe it was someone from his past, someone he couldn't escape.  

"But Alec. You have to tell me what's going on. I can't stand knowing someone is hurting you and  not do anything about it. You know that."

"It doesn't matter, you can't do anything."

"Yes, trust me. I can." 

"No, you can't." He said stubbornly, looking up at me through his watery eyes. They were red.

"I can't stand seeing you like this, hurt and broken. I wanna do everything in my power to protect you, Alec... I'd die for you, you have no idea." I told him while he looked at me, a slight smile formed but it quickly disappeared. 

"Don't" he said looking down.

"What?" I asked placing my palm on his cheek.

"Don't die for me. I'm not worth it." He said silently. 

"Oh baby, you're so much worth it. Trust me." I smiled, I slowly leaned in for a kiss, he closed his eyes as our lips touched. His lips were sticky from tears, I didn't mind, it wasn't like I wanted to let go anyway. I opened my mouth and tilted my head momentarily detaching our lips, but they soon found each other. My other hand went up his back to his neck pulling him closer to me. He was beginning to breath heavier, the kiss got sloppy and I found myself sliding my hands under his shirt pulling it up over his head. The kiss deepened and he pulled off my shirt. We got up on our knees pulling each other closer. I pushed him back on the ground and straddled him kissing him harsh. I tried being careful with the wounds. 

"Does it hurt on the ground, do you wanna go up to the bed?" I mumbled against his lips, in between kisses. 

"No, don't move, this is perfect." He smiled and continued kissing me. My lips moved from his lips to his neck and lower down to his chest all the way down to his lower abdomen. I kissed and nibbled the thin skin under his belly button while unbuttoning his pants. I pulled them down and took his hard on in my mouth. I felt his hand tangle in my short hair and slowly pushing me into him.

After satisfying him I went up to lie down beside him. He turned to his side, his back facing me, and took my arm around him. I snuggled in closer to him, kissing his neck and hugged him from the side. 

"I hope this lasts forever" He said. I was a bit confused, but didn't want to ruin the moment. 

"It will, baby. I promise" I never promised anything I couldn't keep. But I swear to good, if I'm not with Alec it will be because I'm dead.