Time Heals Everything

Chapter 10

"What do you mean?" I asked
"I just think you are rushing your life." She said looking out the window
"What do you mean rushing?" I asked not understanding what she meant
"You are twenty two years old Britt. You are married and have a child. Working this job will kill you mentally and emotionally. You are so young." She said sounding concerned
"I had a shitty life growing up and your the one who thinks they can now dictate what I should and shouldnt do." I said getting upset
"I just dont want you to lose who you are. Ive seen it before with young agents." She said trying to calm me down
"You dont understand. You had all the time and resources to try and find me. Why didnt you?" I asked pulling over into a rest stop and getting out
"I didnt want to ruin you life." She said getting upset as well
"Ruin it?" I asked before continuing
"You ruined it the day you gave me up. You could have had an abortion to save me from this life I had to live. I always knew I was adopted and I always wondered what my parents were really like. It turns out one wants to kill me and the other now wants to step up and be my mother. I love Jacob and I love Raelynn. I know for damn sure you love Jacob and your grand daughter that I almost died giving birth to." I said yelling
"Let it all out Britt." She yelled back at me
"I was suicidal growing up in that house. I didnt want to live anymore. Jacob saved my life. I hate this life I was given. You are always going to be a better mother to Henry and Micheal than you will ever be to me. They will never realize how great of a mother you are until you are gone." I said pointing at her with tears running down my face.
She pulled me into a hug as she cried now.
"Do you feel better?" She asked rubbing my back and I nodded yes
"You have been holding in that anger for about almost two years since we met." She said still holding me as we both cried
"Lets get going. I will drive the next part." She said as we got back in
"Im sorry for everything I said. I didnt mean it." I said looking down at my hands
"I know you are and I know you didnt mean it." She said reaching over and grabbing my hands
"You are the best mom I ever had." I said wiping the tears away with my free hand
"You needed to yell at someone. Im glad it was me. I did need to hear all of that." She said as we crossed into Oregon.
"I think I might just finish my profiling classes and stay at home for a while and be with Rae." I said looking out the window
"If thats what you want. Im not going to push you." She said still looking ahead
"I need to tell you something important." I said realizing I never told anyone anyone about my near death experience.
"Ok." She responded allowing me to say what I needed to
"Remember when I was having those crazy dreams." I looked at her as she nodded yes
"Well that little boy I was dreaming of was the child I miscarried when I was first pregnant. When I was in surgery everything went black and I was back in my adoptive parents house. He showed me what was happening and the doctor talking to you and dad. He showed me my future and I had another kid. I talked to my adoptive parents again and they told me I couldnt stay. Thats when I woke up. I was on the verge of dying." I said as my voice started to tremble
"Britt, its ok. It was a sign that you have a great life ahead of you." She said before her phone rang
"Agent Jareau." She said picking it up
"Seattle." She said responding
"Yes. Well no. But we should be there by tomorrow." She said before hanging up
"That was Hotch. The team is meeting us in Seattle. Jax is not happy with you and neither is Hotch. He said you might be put on a temporary suspension, Cruz isnt happy either." She said as I nodded and looked out the window.
"Whatever. Hows Jacob and Rae?" I asked knowing she talked to them before coming to get me
"Jacob is worried and wants this to be over with. Rae I guess had been crying for you every night." She said making me sad that I just left them

We sat in silence as we pulled into the next hotel before going into Washington state. We walked in to the hotel and I showered and got ready for bed.
I laid down next to JJ as she wrapped her arms around me and played with my hair
"Am I a terrible mother?" I asked her breaking the two hour silence we had
"No. No your not. You are doing whats best for her." She said still calming me down
"What do you want to do for her birthday?" She asked
"Princess themed or something. I just want to whole family together. I want to celebrate the happiness and love that has grown." I said closing my eyes
"We can do that." She said before her phone rang
She picked it up and got out of bed. I tried my hardest to stay up and listen to her conversation but my body gave up and I fell asleep.