Skater Girl//H.S.

Chapter 25: Guilt

Happens. Things happen. It isn't his fault in the slightest bit. His grip on it tightens and he shakes his head. "Sorry, Av... No one else is aloud to read it... I made a promise..." he mutters while staring at the book again.

His eyes suddenly meet mine and I see a look of longing on his face. A look of sadness in his eyes that I haven't seen since-No way...

"Niall..." It suddenly occurs to me why that book looks so familiar. It's the journal Alex use to always carry around with her. The one she was always writing in, but would never tell you what she was writing. "Is that...?"

He tenses. "Ya... It is... "

"But... Why do you have it..."

"She... She wanted me to read it... That's what she told me before..."

"Oh..."

We both stare at the book gripes tightly between his hands. The others walk in and stare at us. "Wow. I'm surprised you guys didn't eat all the ice cream already!" Zoe exclaims. She suddenly notices our lack of acknowledgement towards her and frowns. "What's with both of you?"

"Niall... Has..." My eyes remained glued to the green journal in his hands, his grip is so tight his knuckles have turned white.

"Niall... I told you I didn't want to see that..." Zoe says cautiously.

"I know! I was rereading it, and I went to get a snack and I left it in the freezer earlier today! I'll put it back in my room. You won't see it again, chill out..."

"Uh, guys... Am I missing something here?" Harry says. For a moment we all stare at him forgetting he's never heard of Alex.

It takes a moment for it to sink in. Oh ya... Harry doesn't know about her... He's never met her. In a way that makes me happy. He didn't have to go through the pain we did when we lost her. But then again, she was such an amazing person. I wish he could have known her. I wish everyone had the chance to get to know her...

"Harry..." Zoe begins. She looks to Niall for help and his gaze instantly meets mine.

I sigh. "I'll explain later... Okay?"

"Alright..."

"Niall. Go put that thing away. I don't want to see it again.."

"Geez relax Zoe you sound like mom!" Niall mocks.

"I do not! Just go!"

"You can't tell me what to do! Just because you don't want to see it doesn't mean I have to put it away! I think you're forgetting that I'm older than you! "

"Age has nothing to do with this!"

I look to Harry for help as Zoe and Niall continue to argue. Harry rolls his eyes and steps between them. "Zoe, relax. Niall, put that down and lets all forget about it." They both nod and Harry quickly adds. "I want my fucking ice cream."

Niall quickly puts Alex's journal away, and we eat our ice cream while watching a second movie. Why is it that all of a sudden we are all acknowledging the fact that she's not her any more. We haven't talked about her for months and then all of a sudden...

I don't know. I think about her a lot. Not as much as I use to. But I still think about her a lot. She was like a sister to us. How could you forget a sister?

That book Niall had was her diary, though she called it a journal, for what reason I never bother asking. She was always writing stuff in it, and once again I never asked. I mean, I asked once but she wouldn't tell me, so I just accepted that.

I always have wondered what she wrote in there. I couldn't help wonder why she would tell Niall to read it. I remember them disappearing together at random. Maybe they were closer than I realized.