I Don't Deserve Your Love

Chapter 41

Unedited-Sorry

*Sunday*

I stepped out of Brandon's car letting the sun's rays caress my face. I follow behind him as we approach the outdoor area that is set up for Vi's funeral. Dozens of chairs had been set in rows. A wide aisle separated the middle and lead up to the front where a large wooden table lay. 

I sit in the  chair waiting for the funeral to begin. I was fiddling with the necklace I was wearing. It was Vi's locket that she always wore. I bite my lip looking around, there were many people attending the funeral today though many of the people were work colleagues and friends that I briefly knew. They all looked extremely grave and quite dignified.

Brandon along with Emily, Drake and Laila filed into the seats beside me just as Silence falls upon the crowd.  I tried not to look at the wooden box where my aunt lay as it was carried up the aisle and laid on the table. But as I looked up at the minister my eyes couldn't help but stray to the side and look at the polished wooden coffin with it's white lilies laid upon it.

I look away from the coffin back towards the minister, my hands were partly shaking. I feel someone's palm rest on them stopping them. It was Brandon. He smiled reassuringly before looking back up at the minister.

I hear the minster welcoming everyone and beginning the first prayer.  I feel my throat tighten painfully; the sight of the coffin and knowledge of Vi's body lying in there hit me. The feeling swept over me, Vi was now truly dead and gone. Yes, I had tried to accept that but this funeral brought the dreadful truth.  I had hoped this was all some nightmare, but I couldn't wake up from this. I had no comforting voice to tell me I was okay. The closest person to a family was Violet, but she was gone. 

I come to realisation, when Violet died I did not only lose her, I lost the other most important person in my life...Ryan. With both gone from my life I was left alone. This feeling was vaguely familiar to me as I recall my parent's and sister's funeral. The sense of loneliness was excruciating for me.

I slip out of my thoughts to look up at the few people who were all speaking about her. Brandon nudged me, it was almost my turn for the tribute I had written. I pulled the small half-crinkled paper from under my leg and clench it firmly in my hand. 

My right leg is shaking and tapping against the ground. My eyes drift to the coffin before lingering back to the the thin black words.. 

I cough looking out at everyone.

 "Umm. Thank you all for being here today. It's really appreciated. I'm Cassandra, Violet's niece. Violet has looked after me from the age of 12 and given me a place to call home. Her happiness was infectious and whether it was the constant smile on her face or her amusing jokes she was a pleasure to be around.

My aunt was a mother like figure and was extremely generous and caring. She taught me much of which I know and provided many valuable life lessons. I will miss the valuable lessons and time I spent talking with her. I wish I had valued it more often at the time. "

My voice breaks at the end of this sentence. I didn't want to continue but as I looked back at the paper. The skinny black writing looked unfamiliar, it didn't feel right. I lower my hands holding the paper and look up at everyone. They must have been wondering why I had stopped.

I clear my throat. "She was too young, too kind for her life to be taken away. However I will cherish her memory. We are all here today grieving her death in pain. And that's okay. Because feeling pain only makes us more alive because we are all humans who feel pain. 

My aunt once told me this quote soon after my parents and sister's funeral. And I have held onto it along with all other words of wisdom she has given me. "Grief is not a disorder, a disease or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure fore grief it to grieve." Earl Grollman. May we all be brought peace as we grieve and learn to live with the ones we love. I love you Violet, you shall be heavily missed." I recite the quote off by heart smiling with watery eyes. All this time I couldn't think of what to say and made up some shitty tribute, but that felt right.

............

*End of Funeral*

 The quiet drone of voices began to get louder as people began to stand. I stood up quickly making my way to the grave where the coffin had just been buried. Pale coloured petals littered the fresh fuscous soil. I hold the flowers in hand trembling when I bend down and place them on the ground. I step back sniffling as I hear someone approach me from behind. 

"It's time to say goodbye Cas." It was Brandon. He hugs me taking me by surprise. I wipe my tears from  my cheeks quickly breathing out.

"Good bye Vi." Brandon grabs my hand as he leads me away from the grave. It was almost unbearable to look at it.

"Wait." I stop Brandon as we reach his car."I wanted to thank Emily, Drake and Laila for being her."I could see them on the other side of the car park.

"No. It's fine. I'll go do it. Just wait in the car." I nod reluctantly sitting in the front seat. I look down at my feet  as it becomes entangled with a bag. I reach down for it bumping my head on the dashboard.

"Shit. Fuck. Dammit." I rub the back of my head before opening the bag. 

It had two full plastic bottles. I furrow my eyebrows confused. There was a slip of paper inside as well. I read it scanning my eyes over it. It was prescription medication for a...James Roberts. Did Brandon have a brother? "To be taken twice daily." I murmur. The date the medicine was issued was a while ago yet I could tell the bottles hadn't even been opened. The were still full as I shake the bottle, hearing the pills rattle against the plastic.  I was stumped. Why did Brandon have some old unused medication in his car? And the name of medicine didn't even  seem familiar to me. I hear footsteps coming towards me as I shove the bottles and paper back into the bag and kick it to my feet as Brandon comes back. 

That was close. I feel guilty immediately, it wasn't my place to snoop. I decide to forget all that I saw. It didn't even look like it was Brandon's, most likely a brother's or something. Meh. It was probably nothing. 

*Brandon's POV*

I was walking back to the car in pure glee. Everything was going perfectly. My plan had worked. I mean I thought killing Ryan was the best idea. Which is exactly why I rammed into his car in the first place. Then of course the bastard lived, so my initial plan failed. But then I concocted this plan. Oh it's so twisted it brought me such joy putting it into action. Murdering Vi and getting Ryan framed for it.

 I must say seeing Ryan sent to Seacliffe was highly amusing. How ironic that he attends the place of my childhood. 

As I take my seat behind the wheel I eye her greedily as she is looking out the window.Now Ryan was gone, I didn't have to worry about anyone standing in my way. I had finally reached my goal. Cassie was mine. 

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Okay, I am so sorry for this extremely late and shittttty update. I'm sorry, I just felt like it wasn't good enough so then I restarted the chapter and here it is. 

I hope you all enjoyed it! I love the song "Supermarket Flowers". It brings me to tears easily.

Vote or comment if you enjoyed this chapter!

See you in my next update. 

-Imeshi xx