The Perfection of My Insanity

I want you

Well so far in this so called new life that I've tried to claim for myself, I've had a panic attack,almost been raped,drugged, and that was just last fucking week.

After Jade called me about her cousin's Bar Mitzvah I started to think about my life and I've decided not to be one of those girls.The girls that get piss-drunk and party out their feelings every fucking night and when people ask them why they rather burst out in tears or ack like nothings wrong when everyone esle can see right through the mask.

.......................…........................................

Today I didn't wake and want to kill everyone so I'd like to call that progress.

I got another text from Jade on Sunday saying that Jay would come pick me up the night of the party and that it's too late to back because she already bought me a dress. I just hope that it's purple or black. How the hell did she get my dress size?...I don't even know my fucking dress size.

I'm skinny but not sickly looking and I would like to think that I'm curvey but my hips aren't that big.I just have big thighs and really long legs.

My phone rings again knocking me out of the self image I was creating in my head.I look down and it's Liam.Oh God.

I press the accept button and before I can press the phone up to my ear I hear his deep voice screaming through the speaker.

"Diamond are you ok.I've been trying to call you.Did they hurt you!?"he yells.

"No Liam, they didn't hurt me I'm ok and everything is fine" I sigh into the phone.

I hear him sigh of relief and a small ok comes through the speaker.Damn it, Jade must have told him about friday but Liam doesn't need to worry about that and if Jade told him about friday then she must have told him that I was ok.I can tell something's up now,I can hear it in his voice.

"Liam, what's really wrong" I breath out through the phone attempting the hold the phone in between my ear and shoulder...but failing.

"Nothing why?" he lies.I bet he's scratching the back of hid neck right now.

"Liam,please cut the bullshit ok I know you're lieing" I say plainly as I start picking at my fingernails.

"I don't know wha-

"Liam!"

"Ok, I've been hearing that Zayn and Harry and Louis have been..looking for you" he says with his voice going up two octaves.

"That's it" I chuckle almost starting to laugh,"They're looking for me"

"Yeah, they are and Niall hasn't shown up to school lately" he panic's.He's pacing in his room right now I can just see it.

"Liam,calm down I can almost smell the worry coming through the phone"I giggle and I hear him plop down on his bed from the other line.

"Look I just don't want anything to happen to you, ok.You already attract danger like moths to a flame" he chuckles at himself but I can tell he's being serious.

"Promise me you won't go looking for trouble" he said sounding like a true father.

"Cross my heart and hope to die" I promise before hanging up the phone and uncrossing my fingers.

If those assholes are looking for me than who am I to disappoint.

------The next day I woke up shocked and a little upset at myself for lieing to Liam and another part for reaching over and expecting to feel Jay.I guess it was just some dream or maybe my subconscious mind was trying to strangle him. Anyway I got up,got ready and head towards the bus stop awaiting the a sight the boys who helped ruin my life.