I Can't Wait Forever (A Liam Fanfiction)

Chapter 65

            I was literally counting down the minutes since we got here. The old clock in the hospital waiting room seemed to move slower than usual, but it was on time. Each minute that ticked by seemed to be longer than the one before. And by the time the minute hand had done a full rotation I still hadn’t heard anything. Maya was playing in the waiting room while I was pacing around the room. Finally a nurse came out to me and smiled.

          “He’s in recovery, still asleep, but he should be up within the hour.” She nodded and walked back into the restricted area where only nurses were to go. I sighed in relief and sat down to watch Maya play with the train in front of her.

          Why was I sighing in relief? I hated that man, and hated everything he put me through. But he was still my father and deep down I could never fully hate him.

          I knew I had to make things right, but I didn’t know how. I knew I had to start with an apology. I did leave him, and no matter how much I try to think otherwise, it’s true. I left him when he needed me most. I left him with an empty house and my mother’s grave. While I was in New York making a life for myself.

          Of course he was mad, but that gave him no right to go and get drunk every night. I was grieving too, but I kept it together for my daughter. But then again my daughter was right in front of me, not half way across the world.

          If I had stayed my dad wouldn’t have become this… this broken man I saw a couple days ago. He was never a man to lie and manipulate people, let alone do and sell drugs. It was all my fault he became this way. It was all because of me.

          “Ms. Clarke, your father is awake. He would like to see you.” The same nurse opened the door and held it open for me as I walked through with Maya holding onto my hand tightly, her eyes wide in wonder of all the medical supplies around us.

          The nurse led us to a room and smiled, opening the door slightly and walking away, probably to check on her next patient.

          I took a deep breath and opened the door enough to let Maya and I in. There on the bed lay my father, his eyes red and his usually combed back grey hair disheveled. After a couple seconds he looked up at me and managed to smile.

          I couldn’t resist, I walked over to his bedside table and hugged him. At first I could tell he was apprehensive, as his arms stayed by his sides, but eventually they found their way around my back as I stood above him.

          “Hey dad.” I whispered, standing up and wiping a tear from my cheek, “how are you feeling?”

          “Fine… I guess.” He answered, not meeting my gaze. After a couple seconds of awkward silence, it was broken by his sigh.

          “I’m sorry Em, for everything I put you through. With the court case, and the other day, I just couldn’t control myself. It was the…” he stopped, his face scrunching at the thought of it.

          But I knew what he was referring to. I knew that the cause of this monster being made was the pills, the alcohol, and just the mix of the two in his system. I had hoped my father was still in there.

          “Dad, we can get you help…” I pleaded but he shook his head.

          “No, no.” he motioned for me to come closer and I did. He took my hand and finally met my eyes fully. I could see the man he wants to be in his eyes, but on the outside it’s just the man the pills have created.

          “We’ll get you help.” I nodded but he shook his head.

          “No, it’s too expensive and I’ve already taken so much from you.” He rubbed my hand lightly and I looked down. I saw Maya’s little feet standing next to mine. I had almost forgotten she was in here.