Vocaloid: SHADOWS IN THE SPOTLIGHT [Miku X Luka]

Depression - #7

A/N: The following contains sensitive topics such as depression, self-harm and suicide, and also this fic ships female X female and contains strong language, suicide and abuse, so if you have a problem with that then you may want to click off this story. You have been warned.

Miku's PoV

My biggest fear has always been being ignored, left behind, or hated. But now that's happening, and though I'm refusing to show it, I'm scared.

But, on the other hand, I feel like a weight has been taken off of my shoulders. I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not anymore.

I've always been afraid to be myself around Rin, Meiko and the others, because I knew they would judge me. I've always had to pick my words and actions carefully.

I'm bisexual.

Out of fear, I haven't told anyone my sexuality yet, not even my parents. I know I can't hide this fact forever, but at the moment it's my only choice. If I do tell, Rin would take advantage, and make this situation even worse.

Throughout Maths, I've spotted Rin multiple times whispering to the people around her, glancing at me as she talks. Her friends would follow her gaze and smirk at me, and that was enough to tell me that she's already putting her plan into action.

I avert my gaze and stare nervously at the textbook. It's scary how much power Rin has over the other students. I shake my head as I ponder what hell she's planning on putting me through.

When the bell rings and the teacher dismisses us, I quickly pack my bag and race out of the classroom, before anyone has the chance to speak to me.

As I walk through the monochromatic corridor, I catch a glimpse of cherry blossom coloured hair heading towards the exit of the building. I speed up my pace and speed walk over to Luka.

"Hi." I greet her. Alarmed, she turns to face me, but her expression soon dissolves into a faint smile as she returns the greeting.

"Hi." She responds. "So, how was the talk with Rin?" Luka's blue eyes burn into mine. They're a pretty colour, like the ocean, or sapphires.

"Miku?" Luka's voice wakes me from my thoughts, and with a start I realise I had been staring at her.

"Ah! Sorry!" I apologise, my cheeks turning red as I avert my gaze. I draw a deep breath before looking at her again. She looks confused, but doesn't say anything and instead waits for me to answer the question. "Long story short... She, well... I told her what she was doing was wrong. She just laughed, and then kicked me, saying she would make my life here miserable." I mutter, hanging my head as I speak.

Luka stops walking and covers her face with her hand, sighing. "I'm so sorry." She murmurs.

"You're sorry? You've done nothing Luka, don't blame yourself." I tell her in a soft voice. "Everything's fine." Luka looks at me and shakes her head, her long pink hair following her movement.

"Nothing's fine. Don't you realise what's happening?" Luka looks at me seriously, narrowing her eyes and keeping steady eye contact. "She means what she says - you know she does. And it's my fault." she stresses.

"Luka, please don't say it's your fault because it really isn't." I tell her.

"I'm sorry..." She mumbles, strands of pink hair falling over her face. An awkward silence is shared between us, broken by the noise of teenagers chatting and laughing as they leave the school. Eventually Luka looks up at me. "Do you... want to come round mine for a few hours? Some company would be enjoyable." She asks.

"Oh, sure!" I respond, smiling. Luka smiles back at me, and I follow as she leads me out of the school premises.

I jog up to her and fall into step beside her. "So, do you live alone or-?" I ask, before mentally face palming at my stupidity.

Luka glances at me, an unreadable expression on her face. I avert my gaze, muttering an apology.

"It's nothing." Luka tells me in a monotone voice. "Yeah, to answer your question, I live alone in an apartment just up the road."

I nod my head, keeping my mouth firmly shut. We walk in silence until we reach an apartment building. Luka swiftly unlocks the front door and leads me inside.

The room is small, yet still rather cosy. There's a small sofa on one side of the room, and a small TV on the other. A soft grey rug covers the dull carpet. There are also a couple of framed photos hanging from the walls - one of them shows a young Luka hugging an older lady, who I'm assuming is her mother.

"Uh, it's not the prettiest of places. I apologise." Luka says quickly, dumping her school bag on the floor next to the sofa.

"It's fine!" I assure her, placing my bag next to hers and glancing around the room once again, before setting my gaze back on Luka.

She tilts her head to one side thoughtfully before asking, "would you like something to drink?"

"Just a glass of water will be fine." I smile at her. She nods and disappears into the kitchen, returning a short while later and handing me a glass. I thank her before taking a sip of the drink.

Luka sits down on the sofa and pats the space next to her. I carefully place the glass down on the coffee table before sitting next to her.

"So, about earlier..." Luka mutters. "Did she hurt you?"

I fidget with my hands as I respond in a small voice. "She did kick me away from her at one point, that was the only physical harm... B-but it's no big deal."

Luka glances at me and sighs. I look back at her sadly, neither of us talking for a moment.

"...I'm scared." I admit. "Rin has so much power over everyone, it scares me. I know she's already spreading rumours about me."

"Well... we have each other now, don't we?" Luka says. From the tone of her voice, I can tell she's happy to say that, seeing as she's been alone for so long.

"You're right." I smile back at her.

"Thanks for earlier." Luka says. "When my mother committed suicide I fell into depression. Rin just drove me to the point I felt like I couldn't go on..." She looks away from me. "I've cut and had suicidal thoughts for ages now. I guess she triggered it..."

My eyes widen at Luka's words. I grab Luka's hand and hold it tightly. Luka's gaze shifts to our interlocked hands as I speak. "I'm sorry to hear that... I won't tolerate Rin, or anyone else, making you think that." Luka looks at me, blue orbs clouded with doubt. "They will have to get through me first."

Luka hesitates, before her expression dissolves into a warm smile. "Thank you, Miku." She says.

"It's what friends are for, right?" I ask, tilting my head to one side and giving her a goofy grin. Luka chuckles and nods her head in agreement.

"Yeah, it is."

A/N: honestly I can't thank you guys enough for all of the kind words on this fanfic - thank you thank you thank you! I'm glad you're all enjoying it! See you al in the next chapter~!