Vocaloid: SHADOWS IN THE SPOTLIGHT [Miku X Luka]

Once and For All - #41

Lukas PoV

Something feels wrong.

That phrase keeps circulating around my mind for the entirety of the lesson. That ache in my heart that says something isn't quite right doesn't seem to dull, and that discomfort in my stomach that tells me something, somewhere, is wrong, is refusing to fade away, back into the darkness it blossomed from.

I grip my pen tightly in my hand, azure eyes narrowing. So what if I've been feeling emotionally out of it lately - this feeling is different to that bitterness I'm growing accustomed to. But what's not right? Where's the source of this unease?

Miku is sat two desks behind me. I peer over my shoulder to see her resting her head in one hand, and glaring down at her textbook. The textbook is pretty wrecked, and the occasional loose page floats down onto the polished wooden floor, causing the tealette to huff and pick it up again, with agitation thats noticeable from a mile away.

Guilty. I still feel guilty. I still feel guilty for making her upset, for making her worry, for getting in the way and causing so much trouble. If she knew I was thinking this, I can almost assure you she'd tell me that I'm not the burden I make myself out to be, and that I should discard this so-called inaccurate mindset. But it isn't that easy.

As far as I'm concerned, I've been pulling her down with me - and this knowledge makes me feel horrible. In the end, isn't it my fault her dad snapped? As twisted as the logic sounds, his homophobic ass would have never found out about her sexuality in such a horrible way, and without me, her so-called friends wouldn't have turned on her innocent self. She's undeserving of the way she's treated - and it's my fault that she has to go through such a harsh punishment she did nothing to deserve. And now.. I possibly think, just maybe...

I think I'm falling in love with her.

She's the only one who's ever put herself on the line for me - hell, she's the only one who's treated me like a human being, rather than a diseased animal. She's caring, she's goofy, she's cute, she's pretty - there's nothing bad to say about her.

It quite funny, actually. I thought I'd spend the rest of my pointless, miserable life alone, keeping a straight face and banishing emotions away day in, day out. I never thought I'd develop a crush on someone. I never knew I would have a someone, let alone did I think that someone would be a girl.

The question is, what am I supposed to do with this knowledge? Could telling her send us even further down into this hellhole? Or could it help us back up, hand in hand? I don't want to make this any harder for her because of my selfish feelings.

I don't know what to do.

"Excuse me, Tanaka-Sensei?"

A polite, mature voice. I look up to see a member of staff standing in the doorframe. She looks young in comparison to some of the other staff members - I don't recognise her myself, so I take it she's a trainee, messenger, office worker, or something like that. She almost looks nervous as the class turn to focus their attention on her, curiously. "May I take Hatsune-San out of class for a moment?"

Almost instantly, everyone glares at Miku, and thus, the whispering starts, as well as the occasional muffled giggle. I twist around in my seat, and I'm met with her puzzled, wary expression. For a moment, our eyes interlock, before she rises from her chair and awkwardly shuffles to the front of the class, before speed-walking out of the room.

I stare after her, unsure of what to think. Why is she being taken out of class? The possibilities are endless.

It seems I'm not the only attentive one, for rumours are already being spread around the room. I shake my head and try to drown out their grating voices.