Vocaloid: SHADOWS IN THE SPOTLIGHT [Miku X Luka]

Suppressed Trauma - #64

Miku's PoV

My heart pounds noisily in my chest; I wouldn't be surprised if anyone else could hear it. Wet tears cloud my vision as I bring my knees towards my chest, paralysed by fear.

He's coming.

I feel like I'm reliving that hellish week, a suppressed trauma I really don't want to reminisce. Everyday, I would try my best to stop him, but in the end, he would always barge in, blinded by rage and hatred.

He did this to you.

My stomach flips as I cast my mind back to the many days I went without eating, and the bruises that stained my body for weeks upon weeks. In fact, the bruises in my mind haven't gone away — they've stained my brain, never to fade away, a constant battle inside my head I'm tired of fighting.

It's not his fault.

I feel so many emotions right now, and so many thoughts are racing through my mind at once. I feel guilty — guilty for burdening all those around me. Guilty for shutting out those who just want to help me. But I can't control myself anymore, and that scares me to no end.

It's your fault.

If it weren't for me, this would have never happened. Sure, my dad never liked me; even as a little child, he'd turn his nose up at me and mutter "pathetic child" under his breath — though at least he could tolerate me. But instead, I became even more of a fuck-up. I turned the world against me even more. My friends now hate me, my father probably wants me dead. The sun will still rise in the morning, regardless of whether I'm here or not.

You did this.

Deafening voices screaming in my head are mixing around into a painful, brassy uproar. Desperately, I pull my hands over my ears, trying to drown out the noise, without success. They continue, taunting, driving me insane.

And now, you're paying the price.

The bedroom is still, motionless, lifeless. A slender shadow looms over me — though I can't see it, I can most certainly sense it. My hands curl into tight fists, edged nails cutting into the palm of my already bloodied hand, and my eyes are screw shut, trying to block out the cruel reality facing me.

"Please don't hurt me..." my voice comes out as nothing more than a breathless whisper. My heart continues to pound, and my head continues to spin, fully prepared to feel the wrath of anger, to atone for the sins I've committed.

Nothing happens.

A moment of stillness passes by, followed by another, followed by another. Surprised, I slowly lift my head. Through the darkness, I can make out the shape of a familiar, feminine figure, standing still, unmoving.

Another moment passes by — time is marching on, whilst I'm struggling to keep up. Eventually, the figure sinks into a seated position before me, and a gentle voice breaks the sadistic silence.

"I'm not going to hurt you."

One by one, the thoughts fall away as my mind clears. I blink once, twice; this is Luka's apartment. This is Luka's bedroom. He's gone. He can't get to me anymore. I'm safe, for now, at the very least.

Gently, I shake my head from side to side, shaking free of the frightening thoughts. Consolation washes over me like a tidal wave as I realise I'm finally able to fully comprehend my whereabouts, and I can't help but breathe out a huge sigh of relief.

Luka peers at me. "Are you okay? I'm sorry for frightening you." Her gaze drops to the floor, and she fumbles around with her hands nervously. "That was incredibly selfish of me."