Not everyone, not you

Chapter 33 - He used to be good

Murphy's POV

We leave for Polis in the morning. Emori hasn't left me since we got here, besides when she had to go see the Commander, which I have yet to meet and know how they even met, but that's a question for another day. I've been thinking for the last two weeks. About what happened to me. I didn't expect Bellamy to actually try and kill me.

"John? Are you okay?" Emori asked.

"No, I can't stop thinking about what happened. About how much Bellamy has changed. He used to be good." I reply.

"Tell me everything. You'll feel better, I promise."

"Okay, but please don't judge me for what I did."

"I promise."

"When we first landed here, Bellamy wasn't one of us. It was the hundred and Bellamy. We were all criminals, obviously most of us hated the Ark. We didn't want them to come down, but nobody wanted them to stay there as much as Bellamy. He shot our leader to get a spot on the drop ship to protect his sister Octavia, the girl who stopped him from killing me. We didn't have rules when we first got here. Bellamy had the majority of our group doing things we shouldn't have done. We took our wristbands off so the Ark would think Earth wasn't survivable. Little did we know, Bellamy just didn't want to face what he did. He didn't kill our leader, but he didn't know that when he was taking our wristbands off. He was so selfish. I will admit that he was a good leader. But he didn't exactly want the best for us, he wanted the best for himself. Clarke and him were the leaders. Clarke was the responsible one, obviously. I'll admit that I wasn't exactly a good guy. I was framed for killing our leader's son. A 12 year old girl killed him. I was hung because of it. Eventually, I was let down because the girl confessed. She ran away with Clarke and Finn. I was angry and I wanted her to be hung like I was. My group and I cornered them at the edge of a cliff. Bellamy was there too, I guess she ran away and he found her and they found Clarke and Finn. She felt horrible about what she did and she..." I didn't finish.

"What did she do?"

"She jumped off the cliff. Killed herself because of me. She was only 12 years old."

Emori hugged me tightly.

"It's okay John, we all make mistakes. We all get angry. It's not your fault, you were framed and you got angry at her. I know you're better than that John. You changed."

"After that, Bellamy banished me from our camp. I was left alone. Finn gave me a knife so I wouldn't die quickly. Eventually one of your people found me and took me. They gave me some kind of virus and turned me into some kind of weapon against the hundred. I got everyone who wasn't immune to it infected. I didn't know what was happening, but I was angry. I killed someone who was on Bellamy's side. I even managed to take someone hostage and made Bellamy trade himself for him. I wanted him to feel how I felt when I was hung by my neck. I made him tie a noose with the remaining seat belts in the drop ship and made him hang himself. By that time, Raven was down and had sneaked into the drop ship and managed to open the door. I ran up the ladders and used gun powder to blow a hole into the back and I escaped. I shot at the floor a couple times because I knew someone was there and I ended up getting Raven in the back. I feel horrible about it to this day. I guess Bellamy just hasn't forgiven me. I forgave him a long time ago, I understood that he was angry. I'll never be able to see him the same way I used to. Not after he shot me three times, I hope he gets killed."

"So do I. He nearly killed the man I fell in love with." Emori says as she pulls back and looks into my eyes.

"I love you, Emori. I've never loved anyone like I love you and I don't know what to do but I'll try my best to treat you the way you're supposed to be treated. That's a promise." I reply.

"Let's go to bed John, we have to get up early tomorrow."

"Okay."

We get ready for bed an we get into bed.

"Goodnight John"

"Goodnight Emori."