Secrets in Mystic Falls (Damon Salvatore)

33. My loss

Chapter thirty three

Damon's POV:

I can't let her go so I chase after her and pin her to a wall to prevent her from getting away.

"Don't.. Please don't hurt me" she's begging for her life and it's the most awful thing I've ever witnessed. I know I might be making it worse by pinning her to the wall but I don't know what else to do I can't just let her go.. Right?

She's crying now not loudly or anything but the tears are falling uncontrollably. I remove a hand from one of her wrist, I lift my hand to wipe away the tears but she flinched..

She flinched..

She's acting as I would hurt her.. I would never dream of hurting her! I love her.

I give it another try but she's fighting so hard to get away from my touch that I just let my hand drop in defeat.

"Please baby I'll tell you anything you want to know. Please just don't run" I try to reason with her, get her to see that I'm still me. She has nothing to fear.

She looks around like she might be weighing her options. I guess she came to the conclusion that even if she tried she wouldn't be able escape me.

I gently let go of her but I still stand close to her so I can easily put my arms back.

"Why'd you..? When was..? Did you..? Why..?" It's like she can't settle on a question. I promised I would tell her everything and god damned I will, I just wish I had some better answers for her. It'll only make things worse when I tell her that I don't have a good reason for killing him. That I was pissed off and Zach was only trying to protect people from me because I was out of control at the time.. Hurting innocent people..

"I was not doing so great at the time.. I was coming back to Mystic Falls and I killed some people.." She looks at me even more terrified. She knew I had done stuff like that in the past but she never thought I would be able to kill a relative.

"Zach and Stefan locked me up in the basement and I was starving.. I managed to get out and Zach was there.. I couldn't feed on him because he was on vervain.. So I.. I snapped his neck out of anger.." She tries to run again and she actually manages to get to the door before I'm comprehending what is happening.

She manages to just barely open the door before I shut it and spin her around to face me. She's pinned against the door with my arms on either side of her face keeping her from going anywhere.

"What..? Are you gonna kill me too?! Has that been your plan all along.?" She's scarred but this time she is yelling letting some anger show.

"NO!! Of course not! I would never hurt you" she doesn't believe me. It's written all over her face. I don't know what I could possibly do to make her believe me.

"You killed the only family I had.. He was all I had left Damon!" Her voice is shaking again and there is so much fear in her eyes. It's absolutely killing me. I just want her to look at me like she used to.

"I know I did baby.. I'm so sorr.."

"When did.. When did you do it?" She interrupts me.

"Before you came to live here. It was all before I knew you Alison" I hope that'll make her understand that I'm the same. That I changed and I would never do something like that to her now.

"So all this time.. While living with you.. Kissing you.. Loving you.. You kept this from me" it's not a question, I'm not even sure the statement was directed to me because she's just standing there looking into the empty space.