Why Me? (the gaga diaries)

Sixty-Three

Chapter 63-diary entry 25(still)

Once we got home, Gaga and Taylor went back into the bedroom to rest, and I was left in the living room with Demi. By the way she had been eyeing me in the hospital, I knew there was something she was wanting to talk to me about, but we, for a while, just sat and watched the ID channel. Finally during a commerical, she muted the tv and turned to me. "Why'd you do it?" She asked bluntly. I looked down and shrugged, "Everything just went wrong. Things haven't exactly been easy for Gaga since I came along.." "Amy, has anything ever really been easy for her?" Demi asked, cutting me off. I thought for a moment and shook my head. "Exactly. If anything, things have been better for her since you came along. You should have heard her in the hospital. I don't know that I've ever seen somebody so devastated in my life." I felt my heart sink a little, and I sighed, "I never meant to hurt her- or anyone else for that matter- I just.. I'm not used to people caring so much.. I didn't realize how many people this would've affected." "Get used to people caring." I heard a voice say from the hallway. I turned to see Gaga, leaning against the wall. "You still look exhausted." Demi murmured, "You should go back to bed." Gaga shook her head, walking over towards us. "I.. I just don't want to leave her." She whispered, sitting next to me. "I'm watching her, she'll be just fine. You need sleep." Gaga shook her head again. "I honestly can't sleep. I'm scared." She looked at me, "I'm scared that I'm going to fall asleep, and you're not going to be here when I wake up." Tears came to my eyes, and I laid my head on her. "I promise, that won't happen! I'll never do that to you again!" I cried. She stroked my head softly and wiped away her tears. "Amy, you can't. You have to stay here. I can't lose you." She looked into my eyes, making sure I knew that she meant it. Her eyelids grew heavy and pure exhaustion was apparent on her face. "Ok, how about this'" Demi said, getting up off of the couch and helping Gaga lay down, "You two can lay on the couch, I'll sit in this chair. We can both watch her." Gaga nodded, and once I laid next to her, put her arms around me tightly.

I felt her breathing grow heavy as she dozed off, and I fell asleep to the sound of her heartbeat in my ear. Demi, sat in the chair next to us never taking her eyes off of me.

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