Why Me? (the gaga diaries)

Seventy-Six

Chapter 76-diary entry 33

Court is starting. Due to that we had to come back to New York. Of course my dad threw a huge fit about me staying with Gaga and how unsafe it is, so she agreed to me staying at his house, just to shut him up. As the plane was landing, Tara and Demi got a bit antsy and started eyeing me constantly. "Amy, are you sure this is safe?" Tara finally asked, a bit concerned. I shrugged, picking up my bag. "I don't know. I guess we'll find out." I replied, stepping off the plane and into the terminal. "I think I should come with you.. Make sure nothing happens." Demi chimed in. I shrugged again, "Whatever you want, I think it'll be fine. He seems changed."

Once we finally got out of the airport I hugged everyone and said my goodbyes, and then Taylor took me to George's apartment complex. He walked me up to the floor, and to the door, and then talked to George for a bit. He hugged me before he left, and then I was left all alone with my 'father.' "I missed you so much Amy." He said after a long silent pause. He tried to hug me, but I dodged him and took off into my room. For a while I tried to fight off the tears, but I soon realized it was pointless and started to bawl. I put my headphones in my ears and listened to the sweet sound of my Momma's voice, trying to let it soothe me. After a while there was a knock on the door and I heard George mumble "dinner time." I wiped the tears out from under my eyes and took a deep breath before exiting the bedroom. I walked slowly into the kitchen trying to mentally prepare myself for food as I do every night. I walked in to find Chase sitting at the table across from my dad. My breath caught in my throat and I stepped away slowly. "What's he doing here?" I asked, officially ready to jump out of a window. "He's testifying against that witch. I figured the least I could do is offer him a meal." George said with a chuckle. I shook my head, "What? No! He can't testify! He knows nothing about Gaga, or our relationship.." Chase laughed, and looked at my dad. "It's ok Amy, you don't have to lie to us. I was just telling your father about how inappropriate she was with you that one day at school, and backstage at the meet and greet." A confused look spread across my face, "Inappropriate? What the hell are you talking about?" "Amy, don't play dumb. A twenty eight year old she not be all over a fifteen year old like that. Don't worry, I'll make sure it doesn't happen again." Instantly, I got it. "I cannot believe you would lie about something like that! Forget losing custody of me, she could go to jail for that! How could you!?" I screamed. They just sat there with grins on their faces, and I began to understand how useless it was to try to reason with psychotic people. I ran back into 'my' bedroom, I was out of breath and had tears streaming down my face. I looked around the room and saw no source of comfort at all, it was just like my childhood bedroom. Images and flashbacks raced through my mind and my anxiety deepened. I shakily grabbed my bag and ripped it open, tearing through everything until I found my makeup bag containing my emergency razor. I pulled it out and held it to my arm, but stopped frozen in my tracks. 'No Amy. You can't do this. Gaga. Think of Gaga.' I took a deep breath, and set the razor down, and picked up my phone. I quickly dialed Gaga's number and waited patiently for an answer. "Amy, baby?" I heard her sweet voice say. "Momma!" I cried.

-------------------------------------

i don't know that i like this chapter :/ hm.

well, i hope you at least liked it. xx

feed back is appreciated, as always! :)

xoxo Jenna