Why Me? (the gaga diaries)

Sixty-One

Chapter 61-diary entry 24

I could hear beeping, and distant voices. I tried to open my eyes, but they felt as if they were glued shut. Everything all around me sounded chaotic, so much so that I was almost happy I didn't know what was going on. After a few moments I felt my eyelids relax, and was able to slightly open my eyes. "Oh thank god she's awake!" I heard a deep voice say. I heard a loud crying sound, and felt something wrap tightly around my hand. I looked to my left to see a familiar face looking down at me with a broken smile. I still had tunnel vision, and it was hard to focus, but after a moment I realized exactly who it was. I tried to say something, but I couldn't talk. "Shh, don't move, just rest." Gaga whispered, tightening her grip on my hand. I saw a tear roll down her cheek as she tried to put on a strong face. It took every bit of strength I had, but I managed to squeeze her hand lightly, causing the tears to all come spilling out. I felt something else wrap around my right hand, and slowly turned my head to see Taylor standing there, tear stains on his face as well. I began to feel dizzy, and closed my eyes. Taylor and Gaga must have thought I'd fallen asleep, because they started to talk. "I feel really bad now.. I take back what I said earlier.. She really needs you, and I see that now. I just, I still don't get why you need her so much, why her?" Taylor asked cautiously. "I don't know Taylor, I just love her, ok? I knew from the moment I met her that I was supposed to do something for this girl. I know that I made the right decision. She is my daughter now, and she comes before everything, unfortunately even my career." I didn't hear much of what else was said, because the drowsiness got the best of me yet again and I fell back asleep.

The next time I woke up, it was no struggle to open my eyes. Once I did I saw gaga passed out on Taylor, Tara sitting next to them playing on her phone and.. Demi Lovato sitting in a chair in the corner staring at me. I locked eyes with her for a moment, unsure of what to do. After a moment she smiled lightly and stood up, "Hi beautiful." She whispered, causing Tara to look up. "Princess! You're awake!" Tara said, jumping up without hesitation. She walked over quickly, and hugged me tightly, then got down so that her eyes were level with mine, "Girl, I know you're going to get a lot of this from gaga later, but listen to me. don't you ever do this to us again, ok?" She whispered, her eyes beginning to glisten lightly with tears. I nodded, and she cupped my face in her hands, "Good. Well, I better get going. I'll be back tomorrow, I love you." She said, making her way towards the door. That's when Demi started to make her way over. "W-what are you doing here?" I managed to croak, my throat throbbing with each word. "Gaga texted me last night saying she needed some advice. By the time I got back to her, I was told you were here in the hospital getting your stomach pumped." Suddenly, I came back to reality and remembered exactly what happened; my haze finally broken. I started to breathe heavily and looked over at gaga, "What did I do?" I cried, trying to sit up. Demi pushed me back down, "No, you have to stay laying down." I shook my head, and started to squirm and writhe, "I need, I need, I need gaga!" I stuttered, shaking. Demi nodded quickly and looked over at gaga hesitantly, clearly not wanting to wake her. I started to sob, "I need Gaga! I need my mommy!" I cried. Demi went over and lightly shook Gaga, causing her to jerk up quickly. "What's happening? Where's Amy?" She asked groggily, looking straight at me. After a second of staring, she snapped together and jumped off of the couch. She came over to me, and threw her arms around me tightly, rocking me back and forth. "I'm so sorry! I can't believe I did this. I'm sorry, gaga. I'm sorry mommy! I hate myself. I can't believe I did this. Don't hate me. I'm sorry!" I cried, repeating the same apology over and over. She continued to rock me, and attempt to soothe me. I showed no signs of calming so she finally pulled away, grabbed me by the shoulders, looked into my eyes and said "Amy, it's ok. Just breathe." I let out one last sob, and felt my body collapse into her arms. She held me tightly, and began to rock me again. "Just breathe. We can talk about this later. Right now, just breathe baby." She whispered, running her fingers through my hair.

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OH MY GOD SHE CALLED HER MOMMY! :') haha

so, i have determined that this is the climax, that's why it's so sad and intense..

feedback appreciated! :)

xoxo Jenna