Selene's New Moon

Searching for Answers

  I spent the rest of the morning wrapped in Aiden's and Felix's arms.  My face was nestled in the crook of Aiden's neck, my legs tangled in his.  I was half laying on top of him.   Felix had snuggled in close as well.  He hand one arm draped over me and was pressed into my side and part of my back.  We hadn't talked about the sleeping arrangements,  it just kind of happened that way.  It would have felt awkward if we hadn't all seemed to need the contact so much. 

  Human contact.  So strange, yet so wonderful.  I had lived with hardly any all my life, but now it seems so vital for my health and sanity.  I don't think any of us got much more sleep.  We didn't talk either.  I soaked up as much of the safety and comfort I could from them though.  I hoarded it inside- Like I was  saving some for later.  I was sure I would need it.

  It was around 8 when we all decided to just get up.  The guys left me to shower and get dressed.  There was still a lingering ache all through my body.  I felt bruised inside.  Because of this I decided to just wear my soft lounge pants and a roomy t shirt.   I left my hair down after my shower as well- I was too lazy to mess with it today.  After I was dressed I walked down the hall and into the living room to look for the guys.  There was no one there, but the wonderful smell of brown sugar and cinnamon seemed to caress me.  I followed my nose into the kitchen and that is where I found Dwyer and where I am now. 

  Dwyer must of heard me come in, because he turns to face me.  I give him a smile and he smiles back but it is small and looks pained.  "Sit please."

  I settle in at the table and he brings me a large, steaming bowl of oatmeal.    I can tell from the color that he has not skimped on the brown sugar or the cinnamon and there are nice sized chunks of apple in there as well. 

  "Comfort food is nice after...,"  Dwyer clears his throat a little.  "  ... After bad visions.  I wasn't sure what your comfort food is , but at least this is warm and sweet. "

  I take a bite.  I can taste the cinnamon, nutmeg,  and even a tiny hint of ginger.  The apples are the perfect amount of mushy softness too.  I beam at Dywer.  "This is amazing!"  His answering smile is more of a smile this time and something inside of me that I didn't realize was tense,  relaxes a little.  I enjoy  my oatmeal and his quiet presence.  

  "I am sorry Selene, " he whispers.  "It is because of me that you had that vision last night.  Some of my abilities must have somehow affected you after we had practiced yesterday."    Dwyer thought that last night was his fault somehow.  That was why he had left so quickly from my room last night.  That is why he seems so upset still this morning. The reason for that awful fake smile. 

  "Dwyer, " I say and take the hand closest to me in my hand.  I try to comfort him, just like he has done for me so many times.  "It's not your fault."

  "He said your heart stopped!"  

  "I am fine now.  It may just have been a skip anyway.  I promise you Dwyer, I am fine."  I squeeze his hand and he squeezes back.  He then lifts my hand up to his lips and kisses it,  his eyes closing.  He keeps a hold of my hand and rests his forehead on our clasped hands, bringing his other hand up to meet them.  

  I don't want to ,  but I really need to ask him something.  It has been haunting me all morning.   I look down into my bowl, searching for courage somewhere among the apples.    "Do they always come true?"  I ask in a whisper.   Dwyer tenses and hisses a little.

  "Not always, " he says back, also in a whisper.  "It is a possible future.  It isn't fixed.  Time is tricky."  I nod my head in understanding. 

  " I have seen it too.  What you saw last night, I mean."  He lowers our hands back to the table and seems to straighten up a little.  He looks to me and waits for me to return his gaze.  "It won't happen.  I won't let it."   His voice is firm, his gaze intense, and I believe him.  I nod.