💔Heartbreak 💔

Let down

Wow so what a day today was.

Today for the first time the school ran a faction carnival and it went pretty well actually. There were a lot of events to choose from and being in year 11 we could just do the ones we wanted to.

I only did four events which were: long jump, 100m, relay race and one where u had to see how far u could throw a object. I managed to place 1st in 100m, and 2nd in both the relay and long jump :).

I was actually proud of myself as I ran as fast as I could in both races and felt very accomplished.

The rest of the day was just walking around, eating ice cream and cheering people on. The whole day was great until this afternoon when I managed to full on cry in front of random people in my faction :(

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Why do I keep pushing people away?
I was meant to go to the movies tonight with the same guy as before but canceled again because I was and still am upset. Honestly so mad at myself for being so sensitive and cancelling. He doesn't even deserve it :(

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Now my mums mad at me because I didn't tell her I was doing events in the carnival as I didn't think I was going to be. There's so many questions for her. Where were u when I got excepted into the program ? Alright the hospital because u drank too much alcohol, where were u when I had all my football games since year 8? That's right u couldn't be bothered coming to see them. So why should I bother huh? There has been so many chances for you to come and watch your own daughter play a passion of hers, but u never came to a game. Not a single fucking game to support me, be there to congratulate me on trying. So there's no point in me bothering to tell u when I have something going on as I already know u won't be there. Great to know I can't count on you 'mum'

I love you all, stay strong xx