💔Heartbreak 💔

Life sucks

You ever have that one person that you speak to every day and idk like u look forward to message them but then you fuck it up and now don't know if they will ever message you again coz same

So previously my mum was in hospital. Well she ended up staying there for 3 weeks, stayed out for like a week and a bit then got admitted back in. You know I just keep thinking it's all a dream but it's really not. She's now going deaf and it's hurting so much when I see her. She's so fragile and always has scabs from her picking her skin and idk how to feel. Like she didn't take good care of us kids when we lived with her but she's still my mum and idk

Anyway to try and deal with this shit I go on "drives" which is basically where I go to a beach and sit in my car and cry my eyes out because I don't want my family to see me cry. Sometimes I'll go on a walk and hope deep down someone will take me but I'm also scared half the time to go walking by myself seeing as I go at like 9.30pm

So yeah I guess you could say I'm starting to scare myself a tad, as fun fact my hair is literally falling out in little fur balls and I'm freaking out about that and about my weight because I know people r always thinking I starve myself

Anyways idk what else to say so night ✌️