I'm Not Excited [DISCONTINUED; REBOOTED]

... You Thought You'd Forgotten

*RING RING*

"Holy sh - Hello? -" Illyana answered, quickly gaining composure after nearly jumping out of her seat. "Illyana Romanov speaking," She said excitedly, thinking it might have been Ezra. Her smile, however, quickly turned into a frown.

Oh. It's not Ezra.

"Yeah? Mhmm. Sure thing. Thank you, I enjoyed covering Vampire Weekend. I'm really glad you liked - hopefully soon, sir. Thank you," replied Illyana in a monotone voice.

Her boss, Nigel West, decided now was the best time to congratulate her on the Vampire Weekend cover.

And, although Illyana thoroughly enjoyed the recognition and praise the article brought to her, she had to admit, it'd be better if Ezra had actually kept his promise and called her.

And why shouldn't she be? It'd been four full days since they'd last seen each other - the night they kissed. Ugh, the night they kissed. It played a billion times over in her mind

She hung up, a scowl drawn on her face, and sighed loudly. "Ezra, Ezra, Ezra. What are you doing to me?" She asked, covering her face with with her petite hands. "Why did you kiss me? To fuck me up? God, I wish I could slap your -"

*KNOCK KNOCK*

"Illy? Talking to yourself?" Chloe asked from outside Illyana's office.

Holy shit, I must be whining out loud.

"N-no. Come in if you'd like," Illyana replied, placing her elbow on the desk and resting her head on her hand. "It doesn't even matter anymore," she mumbled.

"Hey," Chloe said, walking into the office.

"Everyone here is excited about your cover. They took it as a pleasant surprise, since they had no clue you had booked them." Chloe crossed her arms and furrowed her brow, "But you don't seem to happy. Illy, what happened? I-is it about Ezra?" She asked.

Illyana seemed uneasy, looking away. But Chloe knew Illyana all too well; it was definitely about Ezra. "Sigh. What happened? Tell mama Chloe," she demanded, taking a seat.

Illyana was still turned away, looking out the window. "Nothing, honestly. I would have told you if something had happened," she countered.

"Let me guess; Ezra raised you up and let you down?"

Illyana turned to Chloe and sighed, letting her other hand fall to her desk. "No, Chloe. He didn't raise me, he just kissed me as we danced to one of his stupid features, that's it."

"Oh my god, Illyana... I-I mean, isn't that good?" Chloe asked, covering her mouth with her hands.

"Yeah, I mean, it's Ezra fucking Koenig. That's an indie fangirl's wet dream but... He hasn't called, and I dunno, I'm scared because maybe I screwed up..." Illyana explained, guilting herself into believing that she has shoo'ed Ezra away.

Chloe shook her head. "Um, earth to Illy. Do you copy? You need to call Ezra, you! The kid is a shy one, though I wouldn't expect you to know that. He's... Like a forever teenager."

"Hey, it doesn't matter, does it? He's a rockstar. Known and loved. I'm just... I'm just me. City blogger. Maybe it was just supposed to be this way. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten all excited. Yeah, this is how it works." Illyana resigned herself to believe that.

Maybe it was to save herself from falling, from wanting.

Chloe stood up and walked to the windows. "The heavens seem to be crying for you, Illy. Looks like it's gonna pour."