I'm Not Excited [DISCONTINUED; REBOOTED]

Her First Heartbreak

[ The Beach - 8:13 PM ]

"... And that was my first heartbreak," concluded Ezra, as he told Illyana the story of his heartbreak. He pressed his lips, keeping a sigh deep inside.

The wind howled, and the waves of water crashed against the rocky shores of Cape Cod. One by one, step by step, Illyana and Ezra walked farther away from the light and into obscurity.

"Those were the loneliest days and saddest nights. But they're just a distant, uncomfortable memory now - what about you?" He asked, looking down at Illyana.

She, unlike him, sighed. She still remembered her first heartbreak all too damn well.

And the word of Nana Sofia lingered in her mind yet again.

"Woah, my first heartbreak is a lame story. Sad. A little eye opening. Care to sit down?"

Ezra shrugged, dropping himself to the sand. "I hope it's worth all the sand that'll end up in my boxers, Illy," he chuckled, holding out his hand. "Come down here, the view is fine!"

Illyana chuckled, giving Ezra her hand, which helped her down. "Okay, you wanna hear it? I'll give it to you..."
__________________________

"... I was a sophomore, high school. He was a senior. Pretty good looking - captain of the soccer team, which was pretty huge; not many people cared for football, which was weird. Anywho, we met after a game, and it was a pretty cool friendship for a few months, like you and I. And, I developed a crush on him really fast..."

Ezra held Illyana closely, as they sat in the sand. He rubbed her arm, nodding as she told her story.

"... In our school, it was frowned upon to date outside your class. A sophomore and senior? Wouldn't that be rape? Still, we'd meet every now and then after school, when I'd be biking around and he was going home from practice. Slowly, I was falling in love with him..."

"... Around May, he started talking about graduation practices and all the expenses college would require. I couldn't tell you how much it killed me. I didn't realize, for almost a whole year, that this day would ever come. Graduation. I guess I had nothing to lose, right? I decided to tell him how I felt, and I told myself it would be sad if he rejected me; after all, he was just a boy. One of many..."

Ezra looked at her, his eyes softened and his voice tone low. A certain jealousy was brewing in him, though he didn't know why. "And what happened?"

Illyana smiled, a lump building in her throat. "We were walking home, together, and it was a really pretty sunset. Windy, like tonight. Orange-red. Cool. I told him how excited I was to start junior year. He told me he worried about college, but he was equally excited. I asked him where he would be going, and he answered Princeton. We made small talk for a while, but my legs were trembling to the point where I couldn't stand anymore. I spat it out, I think I'm in love you - like I did last night," she chuckled, covering her mouth with her small hand.

Ezra smiled, albeit sadly.

"He smiled, nodded, then looked me in the eye. He said, Illyana, you're still learning how to walk. You're a baby in the body of a young woman, completely innocent and full of joy. Me? I'm not that. I'm getting ready to fly away, start a new chapter without the puppet strings, and he put his hand on my shoulder, and said, I'm going to a really dark place. And I don't want to taint your mind with this. You're going to find someone someday, who truly will understand where you're at in life - because I know damn well I can't. You and I? We're in different positions..."

Ezra looked down, nodding.

"I told him it was completely fine, that I expected that - but my heart felt so heavy that night. I could literally feel the wight of my heart, and it hurt so much. I felt sucker punched and rejected. It wasn't the way it played out in my mind, where he told me he loved me..."

"So, your first love...?"

"Was my first heartbreak, yes. But he was right. It wouldn't have worked out. But after that, biking around the block, walking past his house, and just thinking of him was painful - even after he was gone," Illyana sighed. "Is love supposed to hurt, Ez?" She asked.

Ezra wasn't sure how to answer, but he knew there had to be one. "That's what makes love so special, Illy; it makes you feel the emotions you didn't think you'd ever feel, or you were capable of feeling. Pain, even if it's emotional, is as intense as physical pain..."

Illyana nodded, looking down, quickly wiping away the tears. As stupid as it was, that boy always found a way to get in her mind.

Ezra hugged her tightly, sighing. He ran his hand down her back, rubbing it gently, reassuring her that he wouldn't leave her. "Look at me, Illyana," he ordered.

Illyana looked up at him, her eyes sparkling from the tears. Ezra smiled, sincerely.

"Holding back the tears isn't good. Never is. But I know you're trying so hard to be strong. He's never going to hurt you. No one, as long as I'm here, will. Not even myself, Illyana."

Illyana's lip quivered, but the tears stopped running down her face. Silently, she hid her face on Ezra's chest, hugging him tightly.

"I'm not going to lie," he chuckled. "I did get jealous."

Illyana smiled, looking up at him. "You've nothing to be jealous about, love. You're here. You're better. You're my present. And hopefully, my future. He's the past."

"... And now I've made this vacation sappy," she added.

"I've a plan," Ezra said, standing up and brushing the sand off his bottom.

Illyana looked up, then helped herself up. "Mm. Tell."

Ezra smirked a smirk. "Oh, you'll see."