I'm Not Excited [DISCONTINUED; REBOOTED]

I've Got 99 Problems and Alexandra's One

Author's Note: Hey guys, quick note; this chapter is dedicated to one of my best girls, and the cover maker of this book, the lovely Simbelmyne, aka Dear Jan Green. You guys should go read her amazing story, Perhaps, starring James McAvoy. Ilysfm, Jan.

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[ VW Recording Studios ]

"So, let me get this straight; Illy's brother is dating the Alexandra chick from Paris, who basically entrapped you in her boyfriend's bathroom, in the house where Illyana, Illyana's brother, mother, and sister were at. Is that right?" CT asked, his arms folded to his chest.

"Yes, that's... That's more than accurate, Chris. In fact, you got it all on point," Ezra nodded slowly. He leaned against the wall, looking at CT and Rostam, who could only barely understand what had happened.

"All the Romanovs were there? Like, same couple of square feet from you guys?" Rostam asked. The little man's eyes were wide, as his genius brain still tried to make sense of what his friend said. "Dude, you've got a stalker. This is sounding like a Lifetime, television for idiots, made for TV movie."

"Beauty and the Beast, starring Illy as the Beauty, and Alexandra as the Beast," mused CT.

Rostam laughed lightly as the joke and nodded. "She's quite unmannered and manipulative, isn't she?"

Ezra scoffed loudly. "Whatever comes after that, Ros. Y'know what she asked? She asked if I was actually in love with Illy. Okay, let me remind you of how wrong that is -"

"That's sickening, Ez, I'll give you that. But you've gotta tell Illy, so she can warn her brother. Especially if they all like her and stuff," Rostam reasoned. "And the brother sounds to be a nice person."

"Actually," Ezra started. "They don't really like her. Especially Illy's little sister, Morgs. You should have seen how much she was ripping Alexandra apart. And Illy's mom isn't keen on her. She's pretty unsentimental and self centered, apparently. And what's worst, and most confusing, is that she still likes to shove her tongue down Justin's throat, in front of Illy, Morgs, and Barbara."

"Jesus Christ, she sounds complicated - this is the nicest way I can put it in," Rostam sighed.

"Ez, you've gotta tell Illy what she's doing and saying. She's thirsty, which is what Rostam was trying to say. She's not going to stop, and you've no clue as to what she might try next," CT added.

Rostam nodded, agreeing with CT. "Chris is right, Ez. She seems unapologetic and driven. That builds for drama."

"My fucking options are fucking limited, guys," Ezra groaned, burying his face in his hands. "I either, tell Justin and Illyana, which is hard, because, why the fuck would he believe me and not his dearly beloved viper of a girlfriend. Or I break up with Illy altogether and face possible, endless loneliness. They're both really good options," he added in dull sarcasm. He sighed, slumping his shoulders. "I liked it better when the only thing I got hit on by were the soccer and basket balls from PE class."

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[ Rolling Stone, New York ]

Illyana peeked her head through Gwen's office door. "You called?" She asked in a lively tone.

Gwen looked up from her office desk and nodded, motioning for her to proceed inside. "Yes Illyana, please, take a seat."

"O-kay." Illyana opened the door widely, allowing herself to enter the room. She held a couple of papers in her hand, and was dressed in black and white. "What is it?"

The blue eyed Gwen placed everything away, except for her phone. As Illyana sat down, Gwen got closer and smiled. "Your spread on Jake Bug -"

"Oh god, spread..." Illyana groaned, reminiscing about the night before. "I-I'm sorry, go on."

Gwen nodded. "As I was saying, your spread on Jake Bugg is being published as front cover for October's issue. Congratulations, Illyana. We're impressed and very excited with what you've got to offer to the company," Gwen smiled widely at Illyana.

"... O-oh my god, G-Gwen, I... I don't even know what to say! Thank you so much!" Illyana pushed the chair away and walked over to Gwen, wrapping the blonde in a hug. "That's awesome - that's... Where are we? August? And next week is September, and after that October, so um, month! Month and a week! Ah! Countdown!"

Gwen chuckled, wrapping her arms around Illyana's. "Don't thank me, Illyana. It's all your hard work. Alas, I've one more thing to discuss with you. Please, take a seat again."

"O-kay, again." Illyana walked back to her chair, taking a seat and facing Gwen - again. "Shoot."

Gwen reached out for her phone, discreetly unlocking it, before opening her Twitter. "Illyana, you never mentioned the fact that you were dating Ezra Koenig," Gwen smirked at Illyana. She passed the phone down to her, allowing her to see the picture from London.

Shit

Illyana's jaw dropped and her toes curled. What was she supposed to say? Worst, what was Gwen going to say?

Jesus, she just gave me the cover. She can't fire me this fast!

"Uh... Oops?" Illyana shrugged, passing the phone back to Gwen. "Um, that's not me?"

Gwen frowned, taking her phone back. "Illyana, I'm not critiquing you. On the contrary, congrats again! It's Ezra fucking Koenig, not some neighbor's mama's boy! You should write a book on how to date an indie hunk," Gwen joked. "Anyway. We've always wanted to have Vampire Weekend on the cover -"

"And they've always wanted to be on the cover!" Illyana added happily.

"Ah! So we're on the same page - literally," Gwen laughed lightly. "Okay, then. We'd like to feature them as soon as possible, and seeing that they were your winning article in the Times, and seeing that, well, you're with the fantastic Mr. Koenig, I see no reason why this can't be done."

"Yeah! Yeah! Uh, thank you? I... I'll get back to work, and uh, I'll probably send a bouquet of roses to your house. And I'm gonna go before I get really weird..."

Gwen smiled and nodded. "Alright, Illyana. Have a nice day, and tell Mr. Koenig hello for me." She winked at the mention of the latter, while Illyana blushed profoundly. "Sure, sure! I'll tell him! Goodbye, Gwen!"

Holy fuck, that was a close one

Illyana opened the door of the office, letting herself out. When she did, she closed the door behind her, leaned on it and took a deep breath...

Finally. My first, actual front page cover

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PS - Go support Karen Gillan's [ Illy ] new movie, Guardians of the Galaxy! She's portraying the badass villain, Nebula! Go!