Aki Live! (Yuri on Ice Fanfiction)

Shut Out

I had made the smart idea of leaving my room. I had finally decided to try and eat something. Everyone noticed that o was there and was silent as I slowly made my way to the kitchen. "Why is everyone so quiet?" the Russian quesrioned. Of cousre he wouldn't know what was going on, and thankful that was true.

"Shh, you'll startle her," my father said, sorta as I joke, I just rolles my eyea as I went into the kitchen.

"I'm not a wild animal," I grumbled, as I searched the cubords for something to eat. I settle on tjw pack of mochi Mari took from my room a couple days ago. I stood by the window between the kitchen and main eating area. I saw Victor was watching me. The wall between us gave me a bit of confidence.

"Hi," I said, waving at him, "Im Aki, Yuri's younger sister and the residental hikiomori." I knew he wouldn't know what that word meant, and I even ment it a bit as joke, even though it was true. The chatter that ot was at before I came out resumed.

"Aki, can you guess what came today in the mail?" Mari came up to me. puttinf and arm around my shoulder. I was sligjtly shorter than her. I had plenty of guesses, but with her overly peppy tone I assumed it was my cane. She would want me to be happy about it, and tone effects people's emotions. I just looked to the ground. She slid and envelope across the counter to me. That was not my cane.

I flipped over the envelope, sseeibg fancy English print sprawled across the top. I applied in English, so if course they would reaspond in english. It was from The St Petersburg Institute of Music and Dance, my dream college. It wa swell know and respected in the field, and not many people out of the feild know that it even exists. I wanted to go there since I learbed it existed, when I was eight. Bevausw of that I can speak a decent amount of Russian. When I feel Lil I van I should probably jave a conversation with Victor.

I didn't want to go to college. I could live off of social security, and help out at the inn, not like a blind person could do much. I still opened it, wanting to know if the hours upon hours I spenf applying was worth it. I quickly scaned over thw letter, amd the rest was paper work. I folded back up the papers, and flew them onto the counter. I learned what I wanted.

"Sooo?" Mom questioned, noticing what Mari had given me.

"I got in," I shrugged, and started going back up to my room. It must have confused them. I had talked about going to that school for years, I learned an entire language to go there, and once I got in I sounded impartial.

"Where are you going?" Mari asked, pulling me back in a gead lock, " We should celebrate." She lifted me up and spun me around. She probably thought I would get happy if she was.

"I'm not going to college," I told them, "It's pointless. I'm not going to accomplish anything even if I do." I pished Mari away, and trying to go to my room. My dad blocked the door, and my mom had closed the window. Of course she would call for back up.

"You are the one who tease me for not going to college," she reminded me, "I didn't go because I didn't get accepted, but you... You got accepted into every college you applied to. Do you really want that beautiful brain of yours to go to waste."

I statted crying. "You think my brain is beautiful. The brain that doesn't produce enough dopamine. The brain that makes me worry about every tiny thing. The brain that has damage that will make me lose my sight. If you think it's so great, take it. I don't want it." I was hugging myself. and could barely breath.

"Sweety," my mother came over and hugged me. "We get that you are going through a hard time roght now, but we don't want you regretting the decisions later in life. We don't want you asking what if." I fell into the hug, but I didn't deserve it. I jolted out of it once I processed that thought.

"The only thing I will regret and do is not going fast enough," I said. I was talking about the accident that cause the brain damage. If I went faster it would have killed me. That was what I had set out to do.

"Don't talk like that!" Yuri had come on and pulled me into a hug. "We don't want to lose you. Seeing you like this hurts, and we just want to help. You once told me, sure it was out of no where, but it applies here. Death is for the weak, Life is for the strong. You haven't given up yet, and don't you dare." We all crying, our glasses getting fogged up.

"I just don't know what to do," I confessed. "I don't know if I can continue doing what I love. If I can't do that what's life? Why even live?" I felt nice letting out all the thoughts buzzing in my head. I know saying them won't make me better, but it would help.

"You still can skate and make music," my mom reminded me about what the doctor said, "It's just up to you, and if anything this shows you want to."

I sniffles, and tried picturing doing it. Skating j could see, music not so much. Music was my main goal. "What your saying is rediculous. Like telling a paralyzed man to walk, telling a deaf person to listen, telling a mute to talk. You're telling a blind person to see." I had gotten too worked up. That happened too often. When u get like that I faint. I didn't even care if someone caught me.